Road Trip, Day 7 - Baltimore At Last
What do we have here? Visuals?!
Satirical. Inappropriate. Sometimes crude. Bitchy. Rambling. You know how I do.
What do we have here? Visuals?!
It reads: Marriage. One man, one woman. Is Tennessee a red state?
Cotton fields. Inappropriate joke not included.
Do NOT mess with a woman's need for Dairy Queen.
Ah, now it finally feels like it should be a state where Bill Clinton is from.
Jesus loves you no matter what state you're in.
Cokesbury: Population Lindsay Lohan.
We finally made it to Amarillo, crossing into CST (NM is MST) & therefore losing an hour, which proved to be a massive pain in the ass bc we wanted to get as far as we could that day. It was interesting, however, because the sun still set at the same time. In NY, the sun sets around, what - 5pm? It's the same case for Cali. But in Texas, the sun didn't set until 6pm. This has no relevance to anyone's life, but it was something I noticed & felt like wasting 2 minutes of my life discussing. We found the only Starbucks between CA & Nashville in the middle of Amarillo & ate at some Southern equivalent of Applebees. It wasn't the greatest, but it wasn't awful.
After dinner, we decided to drive until we couldn't drive anymore. We ended up making it well into Oklahoma & stopped in Checotah around 11:30pm. For those of you who don't know (I didn't), Checotah is the hometown of Carrie Underwood. The only thing in Checotah is a bank, a Wal-mart & a motel where a lot of truckers stay. Oh yeah, & a giant sign that says, "WELCOME TO CHECOTAH, HOME OF CARRIE UNDERWOOD, AMERICAN IDOL 2005." I think Tricia secretly wanted to end up there.
On a side note, I'd like to say that the desert is nice scenery at first, though it does get boring watching for the occasional trailer park cities that randomly appear. However, the best part about driving through NM, TX, OK, Arkansas, etc was by far the awesome road signs. Oh yeah, in Texas, we managed to pass the largest cross in the U.S., which is all lit up at night. I'm fairly certain the electric chair was somewhere in the field behind it, though.
There are always Mexicans.They have Cowboys AND Indians in the South still, too.
Oh look, we must be in Texas.
Crappy picture of the United States of America's biggest shoutout to Jesus.
*BONUS* Another video from NM, with a Ben Folds soundtrack.
Day #3: Wednesday, Nov. 8 - Wednesday was an eventful day. After getting in at 12:30am, we woke up at 5:15am & got on the road by 6am...or at least, that was the plan. We got up, got ready, etc with no problems. Then, as I'm loading the car, these energy drinks with alcohol I had picked up before we left Cali (Rockstar & Sparks, in case you're wondering) decided to EXPLODE ALL OVER ME & THE CAR. Pain in my ass. So I finally clean it up & we go to get gas/coffee at this gas station next to our hotel. As I'm inside trying to secure caffeine for the 2 of us, Tricia's pumping gas. Welllllllll, apparently when she set the hose in her tank so she could clean her windshield or whatever she was doing, it just didn't stop when the tank was filled. Gas overflow! Awesome! She comes in to tell me & I abort the coffee mission cause the cashier gave us free passes to a car wash that was also a part of the gas station. In order to avoid a Zoolander-type incident, we decide it's best to go wash the car. Finally, at 6:45am, we're ready to be on the road.
First stop: Hoover Dam, which is on the border of Nevada & Arizona. Arizona's weird cause they're in PST but refuse to observe DST, except if you're on the Indian Reservation. So from Nov-April, the entire state is an hour behind the rest of it's time zone except for a random part right in the middle of it. Of course, the only real thing I'm wondering about this is how it affects things like television programming. Then again, there was such poverty on the reservation when we passed through it (it was actually very sad & disturbing to see it firsthand) that I doubt they're worrying what time House or Nip/Tuck comes on.
The Hoover Dam at 7:30am
The Hoover Dam at 7:30am
After the Hoover Dam, we went to the Grand Canyon, which is where Tricia & Clayton got engaged. Collective "awwwww" right here, please. The only word I can think of the describe the GC is "awesome." Not even in the "wow, that's awesome" sense of the word that I overuse all the time. "Awesome" as in "fucking amazing." We ate a picnic on some random bench along the path (yum, Triscuits & Easy Cheese) then walked the 2-mile trail along the south rim & then back again. Here's where the videos started. Pictures are at the end, but here's some video of the GC:
Here's part dos, it's all very exciting. My attempt to show everyone the hiking trail. I'm so special sometimes.
The third part of the video can be found at here at YouTube - it's basically the view from further along the rim, with more annoying narration by ME & Tricia bitching about being on camera!
So we left the GC & drove around through the Reservation. Like I said before, it's just a lot of poverty & you can tell. It's really depressing & makes you appreciate living in somewhere like NY. I LOVE the outdoors, but I'm not a country girl the way that Tricia is or a huge fan of livin' somewhere small, quaint & quiet like Katelyn is. Driving through over 1,000 miles of open space & one-stoplight towns with only a bank, Dairy Queen, Sonic, Wal-mart & a shitload of cows reaffirmed to me that it just ain't my thang. It's cool for vacation, but what do you do when you're bored without a movie theatre or bowling alley or coffee shop? Meh, whatev.
Here's where the day gets out-of-control. We thought all the weird shit happening was finished after we left Nevada. WRONG! We get to Flagstaff, the town just outside the GC & stop to pee/get gas/beverages. You can't pay at the pump so Tricia goes inside to give her debit card to the cashier, then goes back outside to pump gas. My mom calls us at this point to tell us that Donald Rumsfield resigned & Hillary Clinton got almost 70% of the popular vote in NY & she said that if she got that #, then she's going to consider running for president, blah blah blah. This is relevant. I call over to Tricia to tell her this (she may hate Hillary more than my dad does & having a husband in the Marines, knowing that the Secretary of Defense just quit is sort of something that's of interest to her). So she's all, "WHAT?!" & runs over to me, we get in the car & I relay the info from dear old mom & we're off. The plan was to get to Gallup, NM (about 30 miles across the border) by 8pm & then just chill, watch some TV (Lost duh), grab a drink.
We get about 50 miles outside of Flagstaff - 51 miles to be exact to Winslow, Arizona, hahaha I totally didn't make the connection to the song til after my dad joked about it - before Tricia realizes that she COMPLETELY FORGOT TO GET HER CARD FROM THE CASHIER. We weren't far enough to just call & cancel it, so we decide to go back for it. Tricia's freaking out at this point. I knew I just had to let her get it out of her system bc she was so frustrated, but I just felt badly that she felt badly. I mean, I didn't care if we made it to our hotel room in time to watch a specific TV show or where we got food. I let her react for about 30 miles before I came up with a plan to get the card, stop to grab something quickly in town then head back to Gallup, no matter how late it got.
We get the card, go to Subway & Tricia's feeling much better. I call my parents to tell them the new plans & as I'm talking to my dad, Tricia passes a cop going 50mph in a 45-zone. This is probably enough to warrant a honk for going too slowly in NY, but not in AZ. Tricia starts to worry that she's going to be pulled over. It's fine for a minute or so til she sees the cop following us & gets really nervous. I'm telling her that it's fine, the only reason he'd get you would be for slamming on your breaks, but it'll be ok. Of course, after another minute of being tailed by Mr. Jr. Deputy Sheriff we get pulled over. I tell Dad I'll call him back.
Now I've been pulled over like 6 times (yeaaahh, I'm not a shitty driver but I'm impatient & I get reckless sometimes bc of that, I'll admit it). So I'm perfectly calm & trying to tell her how to react. Tricia's only been pulled over twice & is NOT so calm. Looking back, we both think the whole day was hysterical, but at the time - not so much. Well, I thought it was hysterical while it was happening, once it became apparently that he wasn't going to give her a ticket, but still. Here's how it went down:
Cop: I'm jr. deputy sheriff so-and-so. Do you know why I pulled you over?
Tricia: Because I was 5 miles over the speed limit?
Cop: Do you know why else? The light over your license plate is out.
(He asks us what we're doing in AZ & we tell him. Then he takes her license & registration, runs it & comes back a good 4 minutes later).
Cop: Now, I speed too, so I'm not going to give you a ticket because that would be hypocritical of me. (I SWEAR TO GOD HE SAID THAT.) However, I'm going to give you a warning - it's more like an order - on the good faith that you're going to get that light fixed as soon as possible. Do you have anything illegal in the car?
Tricia: No, but I have a shotgun in the bed of the truck. It's registered, but it's not loaded & I don't have any clips for it with me.
Cop: I'm going to have to take a look at the shotgun.
So his partner's out of their SUV police vehicle now & starts talking to us as he & Tricia remove the shotgun & he goes to look up the registration #.
Partner: Why are you so nervous right now?
Tricia: Because I've only been pulled over twice before & it's really scary.
(Colleen suppresses a laugh that would've made the situation a whoooole lot worse.)
I swear that I honestly wasn't being obnoxious about any of this at all. Finally, Mr. Jr. Deputy Sheriff (who was actually very attractive) comes back & we're free to go. We get directions to a place to get a new lightbulb. We go there, find some dumb jocky-looking guy that works there to replace the lightbulb & start the trip to Gallup all over again. I played DJ & blasted lots of fun singalong music (hell yeah I played the 2nd 'N Sync CD AND "Jagged Little Pill," among other great/cheesy CD's). We got to the hotel, a Marriott I think, at around 10:30ish - It was about fucking time. But it was really nice & we got a great breakfast there the next morning. Whew. That was the long, crazy ass day that was Wednesday. Salude if you actually made it this far.
All smiles when there's Easy Cheese.
Le Canyon Grande
So after my taste of fast food delight, we were off. We made it to Vegas in like 4 or 5 hours. After riding the CRAZY ass roller coaster at the NY, NY hotel (I'm talking upside down, steep drops, the whole 9 yards), I dragged Tricia to the Belagio so I could have an "Ocean's 11 moment" by the fountain (fuck you, I'm a dork). Then we met up with Roy Tahsin, who's the publisher of STARKED NYC (aka my boss). He's only a year older than me, actually sooo he's Tricia's age. Anyway, we went to dinner at the Venetian. Amazing. Inside, the whole thing is made to look like Venice (duh), with moats & gondollas & though it was like 9:30pm, looked like it was daytime inside. We went over to the Wynn, which is supposedly the most expensive hotel on the strip, afterwards for a few drinks. It was sort of tacky inside, actually, but you could tell that it was mad expensive. We found a random balcony with a bar & watched some weird waterfall lights show. It was...strange...but sort of cool. It was something that Sarah would find awesome but Julia would be like, "Um, what the hell?!" (If that makes sense at all?) It was very artsy.
ANYWAY, after that, Roy showed us a nice hotel that was just outside the strip, meaning it was nice but much more in our price range. We checked in at 12:30am then got up at 5:15am to hit the road at 6am. Wednesday was the most ridiculous, Murphy's Law filled day, so more about that lata. The videos started on Wed, so prepare get your eye-rolling practice in.
New York gal does the NY, NY in Vegas.
Helllooooo Belagio fountain, can you tell me where George Clooney is?
Helloooooo small part of the interior of the Belagio.
The Venetian. That chick steering the gondolla sings. It's super.
Our host: the one & only Roy Tahsin.
Part of the weird light show. I thought those statues in the water were real & couldn't figure out why the people weren't moving. It was a great moment for me.
California, I have arrived.
Tricia cannot wait for a snowy sunrise.
A Sunset: The One Thing Colleen Is Not Jaded By (At least, yet)
I do love me some sunsets.
Another pic of the SAME SUNSET! Like, O-M-G!
Almost over. But it's my blog & I want to put 'em up. There's actually like 248,382 more.
The suuuuun has gone to bed and so must Iiiiiiii...