Ramblings of a Long Island Girl.

Satirical. Inappropriate. Sometimes crude. Bitchy. Rambling. You know how I do.

Monday, February 26, 2007

"Heroes" rocks my socks.

A couple quick things:

  1. Last night, Angrisani convinced me to join his fantasy baseball league. We named my team after Helen Keller, which is somewhat approp, especially considering I have absolutely no idea how a fantasy sports league works & Helen Keller probably would run a team better than me.

  2. So this morning, I managed to lose my train pass, find it after I bought a million dollar round trip ticket in a panic, lose my credit card, find my credit card in my pocket all along, get hit on by the 50-year-old guy with a 9-year-old daughter & "a serious rejection complex" sitting next to me on the train who wants to take me to a movie & then walk around Borders Books, managed to step in a ginormous puddle AND got an IM from Eastern Europe! And all before 11am. Yeah, Monday.

  3. Tonight's Heroes = amazing. I may or may not have cried with Jack Bristow Mr. Bennett's decision at the end. Uncle Lou looked at me like I was nuts, but he's been playing this weird Swedish music all week, so he really can't talk.

That's all for now.

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Friday, February 23, 2007

Sex is staring me in the face.

Ok, so first week at real job is almost over, woot woot. Sorry that I didn't really tell anyone about it; it happened quickly & it's a pretty freaking sweet job. I was kinda afraid that maybe it was too good to be true so I didn't want to make a big deal of it. I'm the editorial director for an online indie radio station called BreakThru Radio. Admittedly, I don't know a whole lot about indie music, but I do know something about writing, publicity & promotions so holler. I'll learn quick, it's just a matter of becoming familiar with artists, DJs, venues, etc. I actually work with Annie Russell so it'll be just like capping (Marist's senior class that everyone has to take & pass in their majors in order to graduate - Annie, Julia, Rachel, Courtney King & I made our own magazine, which was SO awesome) all over again, only with paychecks & free lunches twice a week. Sweet.
Anyway, I actually started this post to share with everyone the view that's directly across the street from the window in the office:

Please note that the sign to the right of the entrance reads, "Please do not touch, lick, stroke or mount the exhibits." Uh-huh, that's right. Dirrrrty.

P.S. Here's my new favorite thing. It's a spoof on Jeter/A-Rod's friendship. Fun for fans of all teams.

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Wednesday, February 14, 2007

The Spirit of The Vagina Monologues

"Vagina is a dirty word culturally. Penis you can say as many times as you want but vagina's a bad word."
-Grey's Anatomy writer Krista Vernoff on the podcast 1/19/07
So, it's Valentine's Day & I'm feeling down. Why? Not because I don't have a valentine (I could care less, honestly) but because it's more of all those not-at-Marist emo feelings that keep plaguing me. Today marks the first Feb. 14 in 5 years that I haven't been gotten to talk about vaginas.
When I first auditioned for The Vagina Monologues back in Feb. '03 (freshman year), I did it because I had taken a long-needed break from doing theatre & was looking to get back on stage. When I got in, I accepted the part & did the show mainly because it pissed my mother off royally. And when I say she was angry that I would dare do something against the conservative Catholic mold she & my father had so carefully brought me & my sisters up in, I mean she was a-n-g-r-y. She came to see the show but was so mortified and embarrassed over the subject matter that she completely & totally missed the REAL point of The Vagina Monologues.
The point isn't to bash men. It isn't some giant lesbian-fest, nor is it a bunch of obnoxious hairy-arm-pitted chicks burning their bras, screaming "I am woman!" Just look at me. I'm definitely not any of those things at all. No, the message of The Vagina Monologues is both loud AND subtle. To quote one of the monologues, it's about "loving [your] woman self." Brief history/synopsis: Eve Ensler conducted hundreds of interviews with women of all ages, races, nationalities, occupations, social status, etc. about their experiences & thoughts on all sorts of subjects that women deal with like sex, childbirth, dating, marriage, menstruation, masturbation, grooming down there, the generation gap, fears, peeves, domestic abuse, being a casualty of war, favorite nicknames for their lady part, etc. And as the prologue tells us, "Women secretly loved talking about their vaginas, mainly because no one's ever asked them before." She then took the interviews and made them into a series of monologues addressing subject. Some are very funny, some are very shocking, some are extremely poignant and some are very depressing. All are very powerful.
The word 'vagina' is an interesting word. As Ms. Vernoff said, it's considered to culturally be a dirty word. Perhaps it's because it's not considered ladylike for women to discuss such things and men just get embarrassed to even acknowledge that the female sex organ even has a name (vagina=sensitivity=intimacy=freaks people out). Yet we have no problem calling people cowardly/weak people "pussies" or bitchy people "cunts". In show context, 'vagina' is used as a metaphor in many cases because it's a taboo word that gets people's attention. After all, the vagina is the ultimate sign of femininity, so why shouldn't it be used?
I participated in the show in 2003 & 2004 as a cast member. In 2004, when I was elected to the e-board for Marist College Council on Theatre Arts (MCCTA) as the Managing Director of Experimental Theatre (ETG), I inherited the task of being the liasion between MCCTA & the V-day organization. In 2005, I directed it and in 2006, I was lucky enough to do one of my favorite monologues as my swan song ("The Flood").
Back to what the spirit of Vag really is. The true spirit of The Vagina Monologues is camaraderie. It's for insecure women to know that they're not alone and for secure women to know that it's okay to feel secure & okay to have moments of insecurity. It's for all to know that they can make a difference, feel good about themselves, fight oppression, rise to challenges, speak out against things that bother them. They can define themselves in whatever way they choose. It's about girl power, but it is NOT about girl power at the expense of a man. The show doesn't bash men. Some of the subject matter may be uncomfortable for men to sit through, but it's nothing scary at all. Men: no one's going to lynch you for having a penis if you're in or around the vicinity of a performance.
To say that The Vagina Monologues changed my life is cheesy. The Vagina Monologues hasn't changed me in that life-altering, total wake-up call way. It's changed my sense of awareness and made me want other chicks to be aware. Aware, not obnoxiously bold about being a woman, running around screaming "CUUUNT!" every chance they get. My mom was wrong to be so worried; I haven't turned into a crazy liberal; I still have the same values she raised me with and many of the same views.
If my vagina could talk, what would it say? "Good luck to all my little Vag-es at Marist. Make me proud." Purple feathers, twigs and shells forever. Happy V-day.

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Monday, February 12, 2007

A Conumdrum

My uncle sent me this video. It's great:


Thursday, February 08, 2007

February 8!

What's today? Tom Durante put it best:

Dog SiMoT: Colleen's birthday will forever remain infamous as the day Anna Nicole Smith died

haha, and as John Norton put it in a text message: "How appropo."

Excellent. Ian & I are very excited to share the anniversary of our birth with this event.

(Hey at least I'm finally acknolwedging it's my birthday, even if I'm still being a brat & refusing to go out and celebrate it.)

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Monday, February 05, 2007

Extremely hetero survey stolen from Eddie when I SHOULD be sleeping.

1. WHAT DOES YOUR MYSPACE NAME MEAN? Uh, what do you WANT my MySpace name to mean?

2. WHERE WAS YOUR DEFAULT PICTURE TAKEN? Party in Eddie's kitchen April of senior year. Ah, to live 12 feet away & only show up to drink & pose for pictures.

3. WHAT IS YOUR MIDDLE NAME? Irony of ironies: Helen. Angrisani thinks it's great, though. (Angri: Helen Keller filling out this survey...)

4. WHAT IS YOUR CURRENT RELATIONSHIP STATUS? Ha, ha, ha. I've been divorced 3 times & my 4th husband died of a drug overdose.

5. HONESTLY, IF SOMEONE WERE TO TELL YOU HOW THEY FELT, WOULD YOU LISTEN? Yes, but as Golio says, I'd probably "malfunction," as I tend to do whenever someone says something nice to me.

6. WHATS YOUR CURRENT MOOD? Sad. I just watched Eddie's stupid MySpace montage from all 4 years at Marist & now I wish more than anything in the entire world that I was back in P5 or the Nelly again.

7. WHO DO YOU LOVE MOST? "I loved you the most." (Dedicated to Phil).

8. WHO MAKES YOU HAPPY? Not who - what. And that would be mint chocolate chip ice cream with peanut butter syrup, whipped cream, rainbow sprinkles & a cherry. Either that or a time machine to take me back to Marist. I'm a simple creature, really.

9. ARE YOU MUSICALLY INCLINED? I most certainly think that I am.

10. IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME & CHANGE SOMETHING WOULD YOU? I don't think it'd make a difference anyway, so I plead the 5th.

11. IF YOU MUST BE AN ANIMAL FOR ONE DAY - WHAT WOULD YOU BE? My dog because all the fucker does is play outside, sleep & get attention. I like playing outside. And sleeping. And attention.

12. EVER HAD A NEAR DEATH EXPERIENCE? I got caught giving my mom the finger in 5th grade, before I even really knew what that meant. That's basically about as near-death as one can come.

13. WHAT ARE YOUR HOBBIES? Procrastinating on the Internet at 3am when I should be sleeping because I'm getting up at 8:30am.

14. WHAT'S THE NAME OF THE SONG THAT'S STUCK IN YOUR HEAD? "Someone to Watch Over Me" bc I was listening to the Crazy for You soundtrack in the car before. Yay.

15. WHO DID YOU COPY & PASTE THIS FROM? Eddie, my Home Fry.

16. NAME SOMEONE WITH THE SAME B-DAY AS YOU? That would be Ian-face, bday buddy & prom date extraordinaire :) Same day, same hospital.

17. HAVE YOU EVER SANG IN FRONT OF A LARGE AUDIENCE? I'm going to copy Eddie's answer: "I'm a musical theatre whore."


19. WHAT DO YOU USUALLY ORDER FROM STARBUCKS? Peppermint Mocha, but I'm really more of an Iced Caramel Latte from DD kinda gal.

20. HAVE YOU EVER HAD A DRUNKEN NIGHT? Me? Nooooooo, never. I'm against alcohol, premarital sex AND violence against women. Duh.

21. DO YOU STILL WATCH KIDDY MOVIES OR TV SHOWS? Only if they're really young & really naked. A couple of bruises make a nice accessory too.

22. DO YOU HAVE BRACES? Yes, from 3rd grade til 6th grade.

23. NAME SOMETHING THAT HAPPENED TO YOU TODAY? I got a peanut butter cup cookie from Dunkin Donuts and it was glorious.

24. DO YOU SPEAK ANY OTHER LANGUAGE? I can rap "Ice Ice Baby" AND sing "Come On Over" in Spanish.

25. IS THERE SOMEONE ON YOUR MIND NOW? Does Justin Timberlake count?

26. WHAT HURTS YOU THE MOST? I'd rather not say. You've gotta buy me dinner first.


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Thursday, February 01, 2007

July 21 = Greatest. Day. Ever.

So who's jumping around like a massive tool because the last Harry Potter book is getting released July 21, 2007?! This girl.

Just in time too, cause I finished JUST rereading all 6 books (for like the 4th time lol) last night & went to bed sad about probably having to wait another year & a half for Harry Potter & the Deathly Hallows. Hooraaaaay!!!

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