"Here's some money. Go see a Star War."

I saw Smokin' Aces with Tricia on Fri. It was a bit of a mess. Considering every actor age 28-45 in Hollywood was in it (Jeremy Piven, Ryan Reynolds, Ben Affleck, Jason Bateman, Andy Garcia, Ray Liotta, Alicia Keys, Matthew Fox), it should've been a lot better. What can I compare the movie to? Be Cool comes to mind, since that was also a bit of a tease - awesome cast but complete mess of a movie that wasn't good but didn't totally suck either. There was just waaaay too many people & it got a bit confusing, despite being a relatively easy movie to understand. Andy Garcia's accent changed in just about every scene he was in & Jeremy Piven was basically playing Ari-Gold-meets-Jeremy-Piven-meets-Lindsay-Lohan.

I wanted to see Dreamgirls or Babel or Catch and Release, but after I made Tricia sit through The Fountain (good concept, but a bit boring bc it took itself way to seriously) it was agreed that she could pick the next movie. The Fountain was too slow, Smokin' Aces was too fast...the next movie we see will be juuuuusssst right...

OH! Apparently Katie O'Hagan, Meagan Donoghue & I are the graduation picture in the Marist calendar for May '07. Excellent. Thanks, Bob Lynch!

P.S. Katie's headshots are up on IMDB now. I wrote her bio/trivia last year when we were bored one night; I completely forgot what I wrote until I just reread it haha. One day when she's rich & famous, I'm totally gonna sell her out to appear on her E! True Hollywood Story. What are old roommates for?

The audience loves him! (And he loves the audience for loving him.)

I got back from Marist the day after the Angri-Storey gala around 4ish. I hopped on a train to NYC to meet up with Julia & Ali to go see Eddie's off-Broadway debut, "What We Understood." I'm so proud of my Home Fry! :) It was really well done, written by some of the actors. It talked about how we react to different choices & circumstances & relationships in our lives, relating current situations in the play to each characters' past. The acting was impressive. Normally, student shows can be painful to watch cause they just don't have the right balance between art, acting & production. But it was really good. Julia & I were almost freaking out at some parts bc we felt like some of it was "really speaking to us" (insert awkward laughter). Afterwards, we all went to one of Eddie & my new fav places, Rendezvous (8th & 46th). On the way back to Penn, we took one of our awesome Coll/Eddie pics (not as awesome as our Britney/K-Fed picture, but close).

Worked all day Sat. with a wicked cough, likely due to the weather actually deciding to act like it was Jan. & the past few nights of 4 hours sleep. Sat. night was a 60th bday party for an uncle at a really nice party hall. Resurrected the Banquet/Sr. Formal/Tonys dress. I love that freaking dress.

I played hookie from work on Sunday to visit Julia & the Brooklyn Museum. We wanted to go to the Annie Leibovitz photo exhibit since it was closing that day. Neat-o. We also explored the Egyptian floor (mummies are rad). Afterwards, we went to some panini place in Park Slope Jules just discovered. I can't wait til Amanda & I get our apartment in Brooklyn & I can do shit like that all the time (not like I don't do it now anyway, but that I can do that shit & not have to sit through a train ride every time). 4 1/2 months...

Why are Allison & Julia so hot?

This may be a terrible picture of me, but Eddie still thinks I taste good...(?)

Did someone say "Peep Show"?! Home Fries are SO there.

(Caution: Mean Girls alert) I'm just here with my boyfriend...

The Angri-Storey Party Story

Alright! So last Thurs. (Jan. 18), I made my way up to Potown for the big Angrisani-Storey 21st birthday gala. I got up there around 6:30ish & made a beeline for the Palace. I miss that glorious diner goodness. Being that I cannot cook for shit, I used to get takeout from there a couple times a week, especially since I lived right down the road last year. Mmmm sweet potato pancakes & turkey egg-white omlets with sweet potato fries. Sigh.

Moving on. I killed some time by going to the Galleria. Did that weird thing I do when I want to kill time (try on prom/formal dresses). Heard some 14-yr-old girl in the dressing room talking about how she was going to meet up with some 24-yr-old guy she met on MySpace. I wanted to go up to her & shake her til she understood just how much that was a really stupid idea. I set off to Rachel's to chill with her & Will (their wedding is only 9 months away - craaaaazy). We watched quality NBC Thurs. night comedy. Speranza joined us with tales of her new wild & crazy life as a single gal. She's too hot for her own good, haha. xoxo. I left for campus around 11:15.

I had fun, but as I walked in, I saw Joey, who said something along the lines of, "What? Are you still trying to relive your college days?" It was innocent, but it still made me feel a little weirded out. I'm really not trying to do that; I'm just still good friends with both Matt & Eddie and they drove all the way to my house for my grad party last June, so why shouldn't I celebrate their bdays? I wish Eddie (G) had come with me, like he would have if he hadn't had final dress rehearsal. I ended up talking to Phil, Mark Heftler, Lorenzo-I-mean-Zeus-to-my-Hera, & some of Matt's friends from home outside for a long time. I may be sworn to secrecy, but Phil's writing another play (this time a full length) & there's totally a part in it for me (I've decided, of course). Yesssss Gods, In General/Speed Demons take 3, ahem.

I stayed at Crissy's that night (as I do every time I go up to visit; I really need to do something to show my appreciation since half the time, I don't even see her til I show up between 1:30-3:30am begging for a couch). I barely drank at the party (I really was just there for the guys & not to get trashed at a college house party), so I had no problems getting up early the next morning to go for a little run on my old route & then sneak into the gym & use the pool to do some laps. I haven't done a swimming workout since I was trying to get into shape for all the skimpy Rocky Horror Show costumes & I kinda miss it. So yay Marist, yay Matt & Eddie, yay Phil, Lorenzo & Mark, yay Crissy, yay Rach, Will & Steph, & any other really gay things I can 'yay' (yay Palace!).

Princess & the Pup

So I spent much of the week following the 'Divas Take Manhattan' adventure being mega-stressed over the whole "real job" hunt. That Wed., Jan. 10, Norton & I finally got our shit together to do the podcast. Here's the website. Click here if you want to download us on iTunes. It's fun. We've only put out 3 episodes so we're still trying to find our groove. I'm having a good time doing it, so I hope that it really takes off. :)

That weekend, I ventured into dirrrty Jersey to celebrate the 23rd anniversary of the birth of Princess Cupcake Assface Randy. I had to wait until after the Colts game to get there because Princess is a little fanatical. But being that Randy's the male version of me, I knew how I'd react if someone wanted to be entertained while I was trying to watch a Yankees playoff game so I understood. I was just praying that they won so that he wouldn't be sulking like a pissy little emo girl all night. Then again, Princess Cupcake Assface's in a constant state of pissy little emo girl, so maybe it wouldn't have made a difference. Anyway, the Greens got an adorable new puppy, Michaela, who's about the size of Strider's head. SO adorable. She shit all over the house that night so that his dad had to walk around the house in a bathrobe at 2:30am cleaning up dog shit, but she was still fun.

We ended up going out to some bar in central Jersey - 507, I think? We went with a bunch of his friends - Laura, Scott, Mike & Bob and met up with Mike Rispoli from Marist. Bars close at 2am in NJ, which is strange since they close at 4am in NY. GOSH, they can't pump their own gas, they can't get their own identity & they have last call at 1:30am? Ohhh, New Jersey...

Yay! Birthdays! Bar! Beer! Exclaimation points to show enthusiasm!
Princess Cupcake Assface is half Wookie & it's gross.

Divas Take Manhattan

It's been a busy, busy few weeks with work @ AT, the "real job" hunt, the podcast & lots of crazy adventures. It'll be a massively long post if I talked about everything at once, so I'll just go in order over the next few days.

First weekend in Jan., as mentioned in "Don't go across the tracks," Allison, Amanda, Julia & I met up at Ali's apartment in Chelsea for a little diva reunion. (After I finally got there,) we (sadly) skipped the tree in Rockefeller Center in favor of dinner bc we were all starving. Julia took us to this place called Gingerman's on 34th that had beer from around the world. If you ever go, get one of the hot dogs. They're faaaabulous. We went back to change & decided to go to Marquee around 11:30pm. Ali lives just a few blocks from all those "trendy celeb" hangouts so it was lovely to not have to walk far. It was also ridiculously warm for Jan., as we were wearing short sleeves/tank tops without jackets. The club is pretty sick nasty, but you can only sit down if you buy a bottle of wine or Grey Goose or Cristal for $250, minimum. We were not all about that. However, we had a secret weapon: Ali's freaking hot. She's "that blonde girl" that everyone always stops to hit on, no matter where you are. Ali took care of finding boys to let us sit down & share their Grey Goose. But I get ahead of myself.

So, no matter where I go, I'm always all about exploring the joint. I have to know everything about everywhere & what the deal is. It's the reporter in me. After quizzing one of the bouncers near the bar, I decide the place for us to be is upstairs. At some point, Ali asks - and I quote - "Coll, what shot can I get that will get us the most fucked up?"

Never ask me that question.

I'm trying to figure out what level of inebriation that everyone's at (which at 11-f'ing-dollars a drink really wasn't that high at all), combine it with what time of night it was, divide it by number of non-sketchy hot dudes in the place who I'd trust buying one of us a drink (I'm picky & judgemental so that number was also very low) & then multiply that whole equation by just how nice I'm feeling at the moment. I consider going for Rumplemintz...because who doesn't like 150-proof toothpaste? But I can't do that to the girls. So I opt for 151. Yeah, I don't know why either. I think I was bitter that I'd been there for 2 hours, only had like 2.5 drinks & getting another would cost another $11. So I rationalized that I was doing everyone a favor.

No one threw up, but no one could quite breathe for a good minute afterwards. I've done 151 with Frankie & Brian at home and it's never seemed quite as evil as it did at that moment. Luckily, I came to my senses quick enough to ask for a glass of water for everyone to chase with.

So Ali finds some dudes to let us sit at their table. I become bored with them very quickly & turn to my left and make friends with these 2 gay guys, Mark & Lee, who lived in Canada & Michigan and had just spent New Years in Egypt. I'm fascinated by people's travel stories & quickly ignore the girls & the table of dudes and talk to my new BFF's for the next hour & a half. At some point, they start pouring me Grey Goose & tonic. OH - Dennis Rodman was at the club but I'm surprised I even remember the entire night. I didn't realize how much overpriced vodka I drank until after we got home. Ugh. It was not fun.

The next morning, we all woke up & I had the hangover that lasted the entire day. I'm talking I felt like shit until I got off the train at 8pm. I've only been hungover 3 times in my entire life - that being the third. Now I remember why I usually cut myself off & start drinking water about an hour before I leave a bar even if I'm not driving. We walked around, got bagels, went to see the tree (hooray!), went to Central Park & then got dinner. Ali got hit on a bunch more times. I don't know how she deals with it. Frankly, if someone had tried to hit on me in the middle of Jamba Juice at noon while hungover, I'd probably have to have a very intense inner dialogue to keep myself from dumping my drink on their head. It was overall a very pleasant day. I had an awesome time, we're going to all meet up again soon, maybe around my birthday (Feb. 8). Hopefully Meagan can come this time.

Allison, Coll, Julia & Amanda - I mean Lipschitz, Pop, Six & Squish

I love lamp! And 70-degree weather on January 6!

Ali's good at Photoshop. Hooray.

Looks like the Grinch won this round.

Amanda covering her mouth is an unnatural thing.

"The American girls, they are using the mouth"

Norton sent me this. I'm posting it here for you to listen to. It's about 10 mins & you need to listen to it all the way through. It starts to REALLY get good around the 5 min mark. You will not regret giving up 10 min of your life listening to it. Just ask Eddie. He listened to it twice in a row. I'm listening to it again as I post this with tears in my eyes from laughing so hard. Tears, my friends, tears. Let me know what you think, hahahaha.

powered by ODEO

Oh, also - our podcast is officially up on iTunes. Here's the link. Click on "Subscribe" & it'll automatically download a new episode each week to your iTunes. Go to our website if you don't have iTunes & want to download it as an MP3 file anyway. And definitely send us feedback, comments, etc. Thanks guys! I'm going to Marist for the Angri-Storey 21st birthday bash on Thurs, so see you then! :)

Don't go across the tracks

Ok, so last weekend, I went into the city again to party it up with the divas (Amanda Giordano, Julia, Allison Caruana & a no-show Meg Donoghue). A lot of fun, but it was an adventure & a half from the start of the night.

I get to the Hicksville train station & discover that all trains except my own are delayed because of "track conditions." One train was even delayed 62 minutes. I would've freaked out. But I stayed calm; my train ended up only being about 8 minutes late. Get on the train, it's moving somewhat slower than usual, but at least I'm moving. We were all supposed to meet up around 6:30pm at Ali's apartment in Chelsea. At this point, I'll get there only about 15 mins late. No biggie. Then we get to the Hillside facility. At Hillside, they tell us that our train is going to be delayed "indefinitely" & we could get out, walk around, whatev. I'm thinking, "Grrreeeaaat!" But I was still uncharacteristically calm & unbothered. Luckily, it only 10 minutes before our train started moving again. (Naturally, I stayed on the train so I could continue rereading Harry Potter & the Chamber of Secrets.)

We start moving & all's well in that glorious 6 or so minutes it takes to get to Jamaica, a big station where most lines run through & you can transfer, etc. The train stops & without warning the conductor announces, "Train service between Penn Station & Jamaica has been terminated. All passengers must get off the train."

Everyone's confused. There's another announcement: "Anyone who wishes to continue to Penn Station at this time can board the train to Brooklyn & take the subway up to Penn Station." That was it. No "Sorry for the inconvenience on this disgustingly muggy, misty evening!"

So I got on the train to Brooklyn with about half of the other confused passengers. I ask around & find out which stop will take me to a subway line that I needed to get to Ali's. Because I'll talk to anyone, I make friends with this 48ish-year-old woman named Kathleen because she was talking about how she was supposed to be doing a table reading of Taming of the Shrew. She ends up being a minister who had family members go to Marist & genius kids ages 18 & 23. We chat til I get to my stop. Or so I think. The train kept on going. Turns out, the A-line skips 8th & 23rd - only the C & E take you there. I had to get off at Penn Station. I was so impatient at that point that I just walked the 12 blocks/1 ave to Ali's. I got there, drenched in sweat. My newly cut hair was unfortunately frizzed & ruined. It was gross.

My parents saw on the news during my endeavors that someone had been hit by the train. It ended up being a 12-year-old boy who snuck through a hole in a fence down ONTO THE TRAIN TRACKS TO DO GRIFFITI & ended up getting hit. His parents are now screaming at everyone about how it's MTA's fault for having a hole in their fence. No, fuckers. It's YOUR FAULT for not teaching your kid that while defacing public property is wrong, playing on the fucking train tracks is just plain stupid. 13-yr-old boys will be 13-yr-old boys, but at 13-yrs-old, one should know that playing on the train tracks will get you a one-way ticket to the Darwin Awards.

As I was recapping my story that evening, it was still when we thought that someone had jumped on the tracks. I have come to the conclusion that committing suicide by jumping in front of a train during rush hour is probably the most selfish thing that you can do. It's how Randy would kill himself. It could even be more selfish than stealing from the poor box, I don't know. You're not only inconviencing yourself/loved ones by dying, you're also now affecting thousands of commuters who just wanna get where they're going. Could you BE any more selfish? Granted, someone who's trying to kill themselves probably isn't really in a very logical frame of mind, but as Gob would say, "Come ON." Don't make everyone else suffer bc you think your life isn't worth living. If you thought no one cared about you before, certainly no one will care about you after you've made them wait 5 hours on a train while police clean up your gallbladder from track 2. If you really want to do the train thing, get a razor, find a bathtub & go down the tracks that way.

That is all. More on the weekend/pictures later on. Ali & Amanda posted up pictures on Facebook, though. Ali did my make-up that night & I really don't look like myself at all. I think I'm just gonna stick with my eyeliner & mascara & call it a day.

Eddie's Flattery

A message from Eddie:

Bluefire288: so i heard on the news that women who have bad pms have great memories, and i thought of you

My Home Fry always knows just the right thing to say to flatter me so. Such a charmer.

John Norton & I recorded our podcast last night; it'll hopefully be on iTunes soon. The website for it is http://metrobuzz.blogspot.com. The MySpace is www.myspace.com/metrobuzzpodcast. I'll keep everyone posted. I've been buckling like CRAZY trying to find a "real job," so I'm mega-mega-stressed out right now, on minimum sleep & have only an hour to get a whole bunch of shit done before I have to leave for craptastic Ann Taylor Factory Outlet. Naturally, I'm procrastinating by doing this post. I rock.

Gift Boxes for All

Ok, I love the "Dick in a Box" digital SNL short with Justin Timberlake & Andy Samberg. Yesterday, I came across this. I posted it on Starked NYC because I thought it was so funny. There's another one, "Box in a Box," which is also funny, but the chick in the video bothers me endlessly for no apparent reason other than it looks like she's just doing the video to try & get famous whereas these 2 bitches are just doing it to be funny. Neither are as funny as the original, but still. This one (costumes, hair, style) reminds me of something that Sarah, Sara, Amanda & I would've done back in the day, only with the "Box in a Box" lyrics. You'll see. Have fun.

Raise to the future, drink to the past

Ah, New Year's Eve. My favorite holiday after Halloween. After the traditional NYE dinner with my entire family in Syosset, I picked up Golio from the Hicksville train station (after waking him up at like 8pm & ordering him to get on the next train without choice). We dropped my car off at home. Christie drove us Danny Rittereiser's (Ritz) new abode on Bradley Dr. As much as I wanted to go into the city with Julia & Allison or party with Claudio, Frankie & Jenna Collins in Brooklyn, it was really nice to actually have something around the block for once.

Cassidy Jill & Ian-face were already there. It was a lot of Longwood kids that we never actually hung out with while in hs, so it was slightly awkward. Brian & Jen got there about an hour later. With our group complete (minus Claudio & Frankie), we had a good time. I got home around 4:30am & was up around 7:30am, completely awake. Golio, Katelyn & her friend were downstairs on the couches so I just ended up watching 24 on DVD, reading & taking a shower. I dropped Golio back off in Hicksville & then went to a diner in Syosset for our other annual tradition, which was brunch/resolutions. Later, Uncle Lou, Kate & I went to see Night at the Museum. I enjoyed it.

On a more introspective note, 2006 was a really strange, confusing, emotional year of change. I started it feeling very alone in general (fighting with Julia & Brian, bitter about feeling underappreciated in MCCTA, etc.), then had the whole 3 month acid reflux issues (medically, bc of a hernia, but I still think it was from the extremely, extremely stressful 1st semester I had last year, capped off by Uncle Emilio's sudden death & the toll that took on my entire family), then feeling frustrated over capping & fighting, then being brought out of it all bc of Children's Theatre (what I'll miss the most), Festival (which wouldn't have been nearly as much fun if it wasn't for all the nights of "bonding" at Eddie's, Catchphrase, vodka in the green room, all the ridiculousness our cast did onstage as far as improv, causing ourselves & each other to break character, the cast parties & that awesome fucking Sheila dress) & of course, Banquet. Such an emotional time. Then the indescribable feeling of graduation, the confusing, insecure summer which lead to me not acting like myself til Sept when my feelings were hurt further through a very passive aggressive message (though I admit I brought a lot of it on from my own immature behavior, which resulted from the confusion & insecurity I allowed myself to give into; it's a cycle, really). Anger caused me to snap out of it, but I was mad at the universe bc I was once again feeling alone, sad, self-destructive & insecure when months earlier I was feeling like it was all coming together. I hate hate hate who I am when I'm like that, because I'm not like that. The last 3 months of 2006 were spent being miserable over still living on LI, not having a real job & slaving away at Ann-fucking-Taylor with the virginal Jesus freaks who talk shit about everyone but smile to their faces. But that was 2006. 2007 is going to be so much better. It has to be. I'm right. The end.

When Tricia & I went to visit CJ for her 21st & then to Baltimore to visit her dad, it was right after the Children's Theatre's Liquid Lunch, which was absolutely the defining moment for me in terms of "it's going to be gone soon." Brian Sabella & I at one point, after successfully planning it 2 years in a row, looked at each other & said, "This is the last time we're doing this. It's not supposed to be the last time. How did this happen?" That's when I started crying in the middle of Toucan's, bc I just knew that everything I built for myself was going to be gone, just like that. So in Baltimore, I was in a melancholy place. I remember laying awake & thinking, "Is life going to get better?" And then came Festival, Banquet, Riverfest, our awesome magazine for capping, Yuck & Senior Week and...it did. And I'm so glad that it did, bc if I ended my time at Marist feeling that for once, I had nothing to complain about, I could hold onto everything that makes a person content with life & take great memories with me, even if none of it would be there afterwards. At least I left with a smile. And though I can be a depressive bitch, I'm generally a positive person bc I know that for every friend you fight with, every bad grade you get, every person that fucks you over, every melodrama, every stressful all-nighter trying to balance everything, every argument over buying toilet paper, there's going to be a moment where it all comes together, that makes you forget about everything that bothers you. And those are the moments that make it all worth it.

That said, here's pictures from NYE at Ritz's house, Casa de Bradley:

At the start of the night. Thursday's haircut was not a moment too soon.
Silly, Ian, you can't stop it so just don't try to fight it...
...Nope, he may be 1 hr & 52 minutes-ish older than me, but I still showed him, ha.
Some of the gang: CJ, Golio, Ian-face, Jen, Brian.

Thankful for what each of them taught me this past year.
In the words of Ms. Roxie Hart: "These are my boys." Ah, Golio. Oh, look. It's the Chris Golio fashion shoot. Awesome.
I love Ian-face, birthday buddy & prom date extraordinaire.
Poor Jen & Brian just wanted to play beer pong, after waiting through the world's longest game to get on the table (even Brian Sabella would have wanted to kill himself waiting for this game to end)...

...but CJ only really wanted to play with the dog. Typical. Doesn't she have like, 12 dogs at home that she doesn't pay attention to? jk

Goodbye, 2006. Hello, 2007.

Coll & Steph's Excellent Adventure

So last Saturday (Dec. 30), Speranza & I ventured into NYC to attend Tom "Jimmy" Durante's 23rd birthday gala. Jimmy was one of my editors when I interned at the Long Island Press last summer/winter. Steph wanted some excitement so she decided to come along. It was at some bar in Little Italy. There was karaoke. It was wonderrrrrful. We had a very long & interesting conversation about life, lessons, soulmates, fate, etc. throughout the entire night. We decided that we definitely knew each other in another lifetime (if there actually is such a thing as "reincarnation" & that she must've been some sort of teacher to me). She blogged about it in her MySpace blog, which is definitely worth a look (the entire blog, not just this post).

It's funny how we revert to spirituality, philosophy and the like when we need introspection on our own lives, when we feel lost & need some sort of explanation or change in our belief system in order to find reason, relief, peace, comfort & strength. But aren't we all just a little lost in some way or another? Just goes back to what I think is the fundamental human act of protecting ourselves: Do what you have to do to survive. Cause at the end of the day, isn't it all about survival?

Here's the story told through pictures & video:

Yeah, she's kinda really hot.

And I'm kinda really silly.

When will the subway arrive?

But why is the fun park in Chinatown locked?
Time to celebrate Tom "Jimmy" Durante's birthday in Little Italy!

Steph's got a total eclipse of the heart (link).

Here's a video of both of us trying to sing it. We're so funny, I can't stand it.

Peace & love, baby. Peace & love.

Another Auld Lang Syne

I'm freaking wiped from last night's festivities so rather than be all reflective or talk about the fun of the past week, I'm just going to do my very own Top 10 list of my favorite posts from 2006. Granted, this probably means nothing to anyone but me, but I really don't care. So here's my picks for the "Best of" of my silly little blog; the posts that I like the most for various reasons:

1. Don't Burn the Day - Oct. 3
2. There's Always the Next - Oct. 21
3. Road Trip, Day 6 - Part 2: Trish, Coll & Jack Do Nashville - Nov. 24
4. Over-analytical Depressive Fuckers Make Good Music - Dec. 13/Damien Rice: Part Duex - Dec. 15
5. Between my fist & my Pollyanna flower - Dec. 23
6. Even Old Women Talk About Sex - Oct. 18
7. Enough about me, let's talk about you for a minute - Dec. 28
8. Caught a train to Poughkeepsie & time stood still - Oct. 7
9. Road Trip, Day 5 - Part 1: The Road to Nashville - Nov. 21
10. You Know How I Know Phil's Gay? - Oct. 15

Oh-so-close:

• Take Me Back - Aug. 28
• maybe a bright sandy beach is gonna bring you back - Aug. 22
• Road Trip, Day 8: In a MD/NJ/NY State of Mind - Dec. 1
• M. Night to Direct Harry P?! - Aug. 17

Happy New Year, anyone reading this! Shanti. I'm going to read a little more & hopefully go to bed by 10pm. Back to work tomorrow...