Oh this is the start of something good, don't you agree?

Okay, so the gorgeous Allison has requested I make a new blog post so that she doesn't have to see my bloody finger anymore and I kinda think she's right! So lucky for Ali and the rest of you tired of looking at my mangled claw, I've got an announcement:

I'm moving to Raleigh in the middle of February!

My last day of work is February 4 (a Wednesday) and my birthday is Sunday, February 8. I also found out as I got home tonight that Brian & Bobby got tickets to see "The Daily Show" on February 9, so I am going to go with them and then drive down to Raleigh that week and try to find a job, etc. I'll couch hop with Jay and Sara & TJ and who knows maybe Clif'll let me crash for a night. At least the slumber party will distract me from the absolute terror I have about finding a job haha. I told my bosses at work and although I was scared to do it, I was really more just sad in general. It's a nice place to work and they're really good bosses and I like the people I work with so it's kinda like I'd be losing more friends.

But anyway.

I'm really excited and really scared. I'm excited because I think that it'll be a great new chapter of my life but I'm scared about finding a new job. I accepted back in 2007 when I decided that if it came to it, I'd be the one to move that it would mostly mean giving up 90% chances of ever having a job in the fields that I have my degree in (Communications with focuses in Journalism & PR as well as a minor in English & Theatre). I worry too much and I think too much. And nothing is or will EVER be as beautiful as New York City and that's a fact. BUT I like Raleigh and even though it's clear that I will really want to end up back in NY someday, I cannot wait to start a new life there.

I'm just going to miss my friends. I'll miss Cassidy (bitch moved back from North Carolina as I was moving there), Tricia, Julia, Amanda, Amanda, Ali, Ian, Brian, Claudio, Randy, Anthony, Joe & Steph, Eddie, Bobby, and everyone around here that I know I'm not mentioning (forgive me). I'll miss the BTR crew, Annie & Jeff & Max & Maia and all of our mid-day margaritas. I'll miss Yankee games with Angri & Sabella & Storey. I'll miss my dog Strider. But most importantly I'll miss my family: my parents, sisters, grandparents, aunt, uncle, cousin. Just as way excited as I am to move, I'm just as sad that I won't get to see them whenever I want to anymore. I know that this post sounds somewhat shaky but I made this decision with both my heart and my head and I'm certain that it's the right one.

It's gonna be a big adjustment and I'm really gonna need a lot of support from all sorts of places.

Oh, and I'm gonna need a job if anyone's hiring...

Packing Sucks

It's so funny. I HATE packing. Last year, I was packing up to move out on my own (with the lovely Amanda) to Astoria. And I did not mind at all. I stayed up ALL NIGHT (literally) packing and went running on no sleep at like 6am, fully energized. I was so excited to pack and move. That was when Jay and I were still just talking and I know I talked to him til like 2am that night, then kept packing til 6am. It was just really exciting "I'm moving forward" times. This year, I decided packing sucks ass. I hate it. It's a pain in the ass to do and takes away from precious sleeping hours and all the dust makes me sneeze. Meh. It's almost midnight and I'm sitting on my roof right now, procrastinating from packing, and sulking hardcore. Or rather, whining hardcore.

John & I just recorded our last regular episode of MetroBuzz in Astoria (potential Rooftop Session on Friday, but it's a very 50/50 thing right now because we haven't actually asked our guest yet if he wants to do it lol). Naturally, I got nostalgic. Amanda recorded with us as our guest. She recorded our first MetroBuzz ever in Astoria with us and she recorded our last one. I'm such a freaking girl. I wish things had worked out better, but I've got some REALLY amazing things planned for early next year and in order to do that, I HAVE to move home to save for it. So I'm going to do my best and not be a massive emo bitch til then lol. I think I can do it because I literally have something fun to do every weekend from now (well this weekend is moving so that doesn't count) til the last weekend of July. But right now, I have to rip off the bandaid, like Jay said.

I'll stop being a baby after the actual move happens. Right now, I'm just still bitter about all the disruption that this packing is causing. But I'm seeing Billy Joel with my sisters on Thursday night, which is going to rock!!!

Okay, it's getting cold outside and I've really got nothing relevant or important to say other than packing sucks. Today was Brian's birthday, so he and his new girlfriend Dina came by on their way to the Mets game (they live in Connecticut) as my dad and I were moving the first round of my stuff out. We all went to the Beer Gardens afterwards - Dad included (it was his idea to go this morning when I talked to him). That was actually REALLY fun. I love that I inherited my dad's love for drinking beer. He bought us 2 pitchers, which though was only 2 beers for each of us 4, it was still really awesome. My dad rocks. Happy Birthday, Bri :)

"We want to be as irresponsible as possible, without being illegal."

Hooray for 3 day weekends. After the weekly trip to Shiro’s with Uncle Lou last Friday (holler hibachi), I went back to Ridge. On Saturday, I picked up Ian-face & Claudio and off we went to Hartford to visit Brian for his 23rd birthday. After enduring 3 hours of “Colleen’s a bad driver, we’re going to die” taunts from the boys, we finally got there. Because Brian’s the greatest friend ever, he had 2lbs of wings, fries & onion rings waiting for us. Ian-face, also the greatest friend ever, had purchased 2 cases (yes, cases) of Sam Adams Boston Lager for the celebration.

We hung around Brian’s kick ass apartment for a while & dicked around. I managed to get the boys to reprise their rendition of “You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feeling,” which was hysterical. At our senior prom back in high school days, Bri, C-dawg, & Ian had gone up to a teacher that Brian had a crush on and sung it to her in the middle of the party hall. It was so funny; I felt that after 5 years, it needed to be busted out again. I took a video of part of it. Despite their severe “this is NOT going to appear on the Internet or your blog” warnings, I’m putting it up anyway. I miss the good old days when this was the shit we did every single day.



(Here's the 2nd part)

After a rousing game of darts (no poker for once), we kicked around the idea of driving to either Foxwoods or Mohegan Sun (casinos in Connecticut), as Ian-face really wanted to go. We decided to hit up Brian’s favorite bar first since the rest of us were ambivalent about going. Because I’d drank the least, I wasn’t going to drink at the bar in case we decided to go, as I’d (of course) end up having to be the driver. We met up with one of Bri’s friends from work. This is the bar (Vegas) that's famous for having liters (yes, liters) of beer. At one point, I walked with Brian to a gas station so he could buy cigarettes. We were still debating going to a casino, despite it being midnight at this point, but the big issue was whether or not they could go the hour it would take to get to either one without drinking. So Brian decides to call the Hartford police station & ask the desk sergeant if there’s an open container law in Connecticut (you can’t have open containers of alcohol in a car in NY at all). He was on hold for roughly 23 minutes, but we got our answer: Nope. As long as the driver wasn’t drinking, the passengers could be.

In typical Brian fashion, he thanks the officer (O’Brien) and goes, “Thanks, man. We want to be as irresponsible as possible, without being illegal.”

Yes, that is a direct quote. He even repeated it when the cop went, “Um, WHAT?!”

I love my friends.

We didn’t end up going to the casino because at this point, it was 1am and I was tired of not being able to drink. We walked back to Brian’s apartment & chilled there. And by “chilled” I mean, “Claudio passed out almost immediately while Bri, Ian & Brian’s friend Mike D. did shots of cheap orange vodka that Colleen knew better not to touch because cheap orange vodka means trouble.” Naturally, we had to fuck with C-dawg while he was sleeping, hehe. The night got better when we put on Arrested Development & I totally dorked out. I’ve been stressed out because of work stuff and moving preparations & couldn’t sleep at all, so I ended up doing the 3 weeks’ worth of dishes that had built up in Brian’s sink. It took me over an hour, til almost 5am. Claudio had passed out in the most inconvenient way possible on the couch & Ian-face had fallen asleep on the bathroom floor (cheap orange vodka always means trouble) soooo I ended up sleeping for an hour & a half on the most uncomfortable chair ever. But it was all good.

We were celebrating Uncle Lou’s birthday on Sunday, so I got the boys up early, dropped them off at the ferry so they could get to Port Jefferson & headed to Syosset for bday weekend, round 2. On the way back, I was starting to think about work/moving shit & making lists of everything I have to do this week in my head. I totally wasn’t paying attention and ended up getting pulled over for speeding (74 in a 50, go me) right before I crossed the Throg’s Neck bridge. Now, honestly, I’ve been pulled over like 6 times before. Thank heavens for Uncle Lou’s PBA card, which has gotten me out of all of them. I figured that this time, my luck was out, it would just be fitting with everything lately that I’d get a ticket and have to worry about going to court and getting points off my license and paying a zillion dollars and giving up a day to taking a defensive driving class to make up the points, etc. I was so distracted, so exhausted that when the cop came to the window, I was literally shaking. Then fate stepped in (again).

Cop: Why are you shaking?
Me: I’m nervous.
Cop: Why are you nervous? Because you’re a Yankees fan (I was wearing my Mariano Rivera shirt) and they’re losing?
Me: (nervous laugh) Yeah, I was at the game on Tues. It was awful.
Cop: Tuesday? So was I!
Me: Didn’t you just want to cry after that first inning Manny home run?
Cop: Tell me about it. Tell you what. You stay put. Whose card is this?
Me: My uncle’s.
(Goes to his car & gets on the phone, as I wait.)
Cop: I called the number and the guy said he didn’t know you!
Me: (Look of horror) WHAT?! I live with him! His badge number is [###]!
Cop: (Laughing) I’m just kidding. You can stop shaking, it’s okay. It was just speeding, that’s all! Unless you have any weapons of mass destruction in here that I should know about.
(At this point, I’m PRAYING that the boys didn’t leave any beer in my car.)
Me: Umm, I just have a lighter…
Cop: You were just speeding. Go home, relax, stop shaking. It’s fine. Have a good weekend. Let’s go Yankees!

Yeah. So…that happened. Thank you, universe. Thank you, thank you.

ANYWAY, Monday, I hit up Smith’s Point Beach with Ian-face, Claudio & Frankie, which was awesome. Okay this never-ending post is finally over. It really wasn't that bad of a way to spend the last 15 minutes... :)

Raise to the future, drink to the past

Ah, New Year's Eve. My favorite holiday after Halloween. After the traditional NYE dinner with my entire family in Syosset, I picked up Golio from the Hicksville train station (after waking him up at like 8pm & ordering him to get on the next train without choice). We dropped my car off at home. Christie drove us Danny Rittereiser's (Ritz) new abode on Bradley Dr. As much as I wanted to go into the city with Julia & Allison or party with Claudio, Frankie & Jenna Collins in Brooklyn, it was really nice to actually have something around the block for once.

Cassidy Jill & Ian-face were already there. It was a lot of Longwood kids that we never actually hung out with while in hs, so it was slightly awkward. Brian & Jen got there about an hour later. With our group complete (minus Claudio & Frankie), we had a good time. I got home around 4:30am & was up around 7:30am, completely awake. Golio, Katelyn & her friend were downstairs on the couches so I just ended up watching 24 on DVD, reading & taking a shower. I dropped Golio back off in Hicksville & then went to a diner in Syosset for our other annual tradition, which was brunch/resolutions. Later, Uncle Lou, Kate & I went to see Night at the Museum. I enjoyed it.

On a more introspective note, 2006 was a really strange, confusing, emotional year of change. I started it feeling very alone in general (fighting with Julia & Brian, bitter about feeling underappreciated in MCCTA, etc.), then had the whole 3 month acid reflux issues (medically, bc of a hernia, but I still think it was from the extremely, extremely stressful 1st semester I had last year, capped off by Uncle Emilio's sudden death & the toll that took on my entire family), then feeling frustrated over capping & fighting, then being brought out of it all bc of Children's Theatre (what I'll miss the most), Festival (which wouldn't have been nearly as much fun if it wasn't for all the nights of "bonding" at Eddie's, Catchphrase, vodka in the green room, all the ridiculousness our cast did onstage as far as improv, causing ourselves & each other to break character, the cast parties & that awesome fucking Sheila dress) & of course, Banquet. Such an emotional time. Then the indescribable feeling of graduation, the confusing, insecure summer which lead to me not acting like myself til Sept when my feelings were hurt further through a very passive aggressive message (though I admit I brought a lot of it on from my own immature behavior, which resulted from the confusion & insecurity I allowed myself to give into; it's a cycle, really). Anger caused me to snap out of it, but I was mad at the universe bc I was once again feeling alone, sad, self-destructive & insecure when months earlier I was feeling like it was all coming together. I hate hate hate who I am when I'm like that, because I'm not like that. The last 3 months of 2006 were spent being miserable over still living on LI, not having a real job & slaving away at Ann-fucking-Taylor with the virginal Jesus freaks who talk shit about everyone but smile to their faces. But that was 2006. 2007 is going to be so much better. It has to be. I'm right. The end.

When Tricia & I went to visit CJ for her 21st & then to Baltimore to visit her dad, it was right after the Children's Theatre's Liquid Lunch, which was absolutely the defining moment for me in terms of "it's going to be gone soon." Brian Sabella & I at one point, after successfully planning it 2 years in a row, looked at each other & said, "This is the last time we're doing this. It's not supposed to be the last time. How did this happen?" That's when I started crying in the middle of Toucan's, bc I just knew that everything I built for myself was going to be gone, just like that. So in Baltimore, I was in a melancholy place. I remember laying awake & thinking, "Is life going to get better?" And then came Festival, Banquet, Riverfest, our awesome magazine for capping, Yuck & Senior Week and...it did. And I'm so glad that it did, bc if I ended my time at Marist feeling that for once, I had nothing to complain about, I could hold onto everything that makes a person content with life & take great memories with me, even if none of it would be there afterwards. At least I left with a smile. And though I can be a depressive bitch, I'm generally a positive person bc I know that for every friend you fight with, every bad grade you get, every person that fucks you over, every melodrama, every stressful all-nighter trying to balance everything, every argument over buying toilet paper, there's going to be a moment where it all comes together, that makes you forget about everything that bothers you. And those are the moments that make it all worth it.

That said, here's pictures from NYE at Ritz's house, Casa de Bradley:

At the start of the night. Thursday's haircut was not a moment too soon.
Silly, Ian, you can't stop it so just don't try to fight it...
...Nope, he may be 1 hr & 52 minutes-ish older than me, but I still showed him, ha.
Some of the gang: CJ, Golio, Ian-face, Jen, Brian.

Thankful for what each of them taught me this past year.
In the words of Ms. Roxie Hart: "These are my boys." Ah, Golio. Oh, look. It's the Chris Golio fashion shoot. Awesome.
I love Ian-face, birthday buddy & prom date extraordinaire.
Poor Jen & Brian just wanted to play beer pong, after waiting through the world's longest game to get on the table (even Brian Sabella would have wanted to kill himself waiting for this game to end)...

...but CJ only really wanted to play with the dog. Typical. Doesn't she have like, 12 dogs at home that she doesn't pay attention to? jk

Goodbye, 2006. Hello, 2007.

maybe a bright sandy beach is gonna bring you back

Being that I had almost the exact same "conversation" today with two different people, I feel the need to include the away message of Brian Sabella, the second person to bring the 'not-going-back-to-Marist' topic to my attention today (not that it wasn't already on my mind/brought up by almost everyone i've ever met in the past few weeks).

StamosIsLife: Finishing up packing for Marist...

Oh wait, Im old.

You little bastards better enjoy it.

Muffin is right. Katelyn actually said to me the other night, "You know, it's really scary that you graduated. I don't like it. It makes me realize that it doesn't last forever." Damn right it doesn't. I'm not going to get into it now cause it's late, but sometimes you really don't know what you've got til it's gone. But I was lucky. After a somewhat rough year (that had good moments, I'm not complaining), I had a very, very, very, very awesome last month of school. Starting with Festival then Banquet then Riverfest then Yuck then Senior week then Senior Formal then graduation; I feel incredibly lucky & blessed that I ended my time at Marist on such a high note.

I guess that's why this has been such a frustrating summer for me. Some things that I wanted to last...didn't and some things that I wanted to happen...haven't. But that's neither here nor there & this is not the time/place to analyze my summer. Maybe another time. Life is funny. I'm a very intense person but I'm an understanding person & not unforgiving. People never give me enough credit: I'm good at brushing things off my shoulders simply bc I don't want the weight of being angry or hurt or hating someone/having them dislike me. It's not worth it. Ok, shut up, Colleen. Just shut up.

Anyway, I did a first for me today: went to the beach by myself. Now, I absolutely love going to the beach but it's been the one thing that I've never really considered doing before. I've seen movies by myself (working at a movie theater desensitizes you to that), eaten by myself (granted, not at a restaurant, but I've gone into places like Panera or Dunkin Donuts or Quiznos, etc al & eaten alone), i've sat at concerts by myself (even if I had friends who were there, just sitting in a different section - DMB @ SPAC 2003 for example) and i've gone to see plays alone. Bottomline: I don't have a problem with a little 'me' time. Anyway, I've never considered going to the beach alone & especially this summer with certain 'circumstances' - so to speak - have caused me to always feel it necessary to have a beach buddy. Cassidy & Claudio have gone to the beach by themselves before & it's quite relaxing & peaceful & gorgeous there, so it shouldn't be a big deal at all. Soooo after an absolutely AMAZING day yesterday at the beach with Julia, Brian, Chris Golio, Ian face & Joe Matero, I decided I wanted to go again today. I woke up and it was gorgeous out so I thought to myself, "Self, just go do it."

So I did. And I relaxed with a book then walked around for over an hour. Said a hello that wasn't as awkward as I thought (I guess? from my POV but what do I know about anything?). Oh yeah - I also saw an old naked guy pissing into the ocean.

Basically, at Smith's Point, if you go all the way down to the right, there's a nude section. I remember walking down there in like 11th grade or something with either Claudio or Tricia or someone bc when you're like 16, the idea of naked people at the beach is still funny. Anyway, I remembered it being alot further than it actually is. At first I was like, "Ok, that dude's naked. Don't stare, just walk a little bit further, it's not crowded." I'm an idiot but I didn't feel like turning around and going back yet. So then I walk about 3 more minutes & see more saggy ballsacs. This time, I'm kinda getting the feeling (especially when I see some naked fat old lady) that it's time to go back. The clincher was when I look up from finding a song on my newly created playlist & see some guy standing by the sea. "Ok, Colleen, don't stare," I say to myself. Then I notice that he's NOT JUST STANDING THERE. NOPE. OLD GUY. NAKED. PISSING INTO THE ATLANTIC OCEAN.

Yup. That was great. I did not go swimming after I got back from my walk.

Ok, this post is long & I have to go find stories for StarkedNY.com for tomorrow since I have work at AT 3-close & I have to go back to the mall so shit's gotta be done early. Thanks to everyone who's been going there & reading it. I really, really appreciate it.

P.S. Snakes on a Plane was awesome. Just awesome. Audience participation. I got to say, "Oohh, what's a trouser snake?" when the guy got bit in the crotch & Matero yelled out, "It's a trouser snake!" My favorite part (other than *the* line) was some guy from the audience yelling, "Why isn't William Shatner in this movie?!"
P.P.S. I'm going to put up videos from the Counting Crows concert as soon as I figure out how to load shit onto YouTube. Adam Duritz is fantastic.

*I finally unloaded like a month's worth of pictures from my camera; this is one from Aug 2, when Danny & I went with Brian to his gig in Hartford. We met up with Bri's friend, Tim, watched Brian play, then stayed up all night playing in Tim's pool, drinking & then having an insane game of "Never Have I Ever." But to kick off the night - aka Happy Hour - Brian bought us all pints. Look how tiny I am next to Danny & the pint haha.