Blogging Like Bored People Blog

Okay so we're having dismal snowy/rainy weather on Long Island today. My first-half of the day counterpart didn't come in today and the weather was all snow this morning, so there were a decent amount of cancellations. Basically, I've got not a lot to do & I'm bored so I'm doing what bored people do: blogging. I used to like having time to kill at work but the last 6 months has put me out of practice haha. So let's see what I can entertain myself by yakking about.

1. New Lost tonight. I may or may not have seen it already. Go ahead, hate on me. I wouldn't go back & unwatch it for anything. I've had to stop discussing the show with my fellow geeks since I'm afraid of giving something away because there were (IMO) a lot of puzzle pieces that start to fit together more and I don't want to disprove something someone says by going, "Well, that can't be because..." And if you think that Jay & I talk about Lost because of the podcast, guess again. 85% of the time, we only talk about it if we're surrounded by friends who bring it up.
2. Moving date approaches. I'm nervous but I've got a lot of fun things going on the next 2 weekends. I'm going to see Michael Ian Black do stand-up comedy in NYC with Pookie this Saturday night, January 31. She asked me if I wanted to go see it at 8pm or 10:30pm & my first thought was, "Why on EARTH would we go at 10:30pm? That's so late." Which then prompts me to think, "25? Fuck, I'm old."
3. The following weekend is my "last weekend" in NY. The weekend of my 25th birthday. Annie is throwing together a Birthday/Going-Away Soiree with the BTR crew on Fri, Feb. 6. It's going to be good times. Well, duh. Cause with Annie's cupcakes, how could it not be good times? Also, I'm having a gathering in Herald's Square on Feb. 7. I don't care if the bar is a controversial choice. It's close to Penn Station, where I'm probably coming from & it's still cold in NYC. Therefore, that's where I'm having it. It's for Ian-face's birthday too (naturally). Good times will ensue as well.
4. Fun Fact: My & Ian-face's 25th birthday coincides with the 2nd anniversary of Anna Nicole Smith's death.
5. I'd really like to go to New York Comic Con again this year (Feb. 6-8), but the only day that I could make it is Saturday. This isn't a problem except that the freaking cast of my new favorite show Chuck is going to be there on Sunday! Also, the casts of Fringe & Joss Whedon's new show are going to be there Sunday as well. Yeah, I'm a geek. Stupid birthday.
6. If you haven't already heard already, Scarlett Johansson is doing a cover of my boy Jeff Buckley's "Last Goodbye." I'm going to defer all discussion on this to Amanda.
7. And finally, I'm thinking about making this blog into an actual website or at least updating the format/template a little bit. But more about that another time, I suppose.

Okay, I think I've successfully killed a little bit of time. I've actually written this blog twice because it didn't save the first time when I went to publish it and then it was gone. I was way wittier the first time, but oh well. At least it's 6pm now. May 7pm come fast & may 9pm come even faster. That's what she said.

East Village Reunion

Saturday night was a little Marist reunion of sorts, organized by Eddie (who's birthday is today - HAPPY BIRTHDAY HOME FRY!!!) and the rest of the boys from the Deceitful Whore (the name for Eddie's apartment our junior/senior years). It didn't end up being on the Upper West Side, but rather in the East Village. Yay L Train! (Sarcasm.) I forget the name of the bar we went to, but it was this little Irish pub type place that was really fun. Caught up a little with Julia and Anthony, who I haven't seen in way too long, so that was fun. Nothing really of note happened except the girl who was in the one-stall ladies room for way long, then some dude came out and after like 25-minutes and went, "Oh, she's really sick in there." Suuuurrreeeee. "Sick." If by "sick" you mean ---- ah, I'm trying to keep this PG-13, so use your imagination. But it's exactly what you're thinking.

So anyways, pictures below, yadda yadda. Nothing too exciting.

To note: Check out the new Billy Joel song, which is from the perspective of a soldier and sung by this dude from LI. I want Billy Joel to write a song for ME to sing. Granted, I don't really sing or do anything musical anymore except work in the music industry, BUT I'd totally sing a song in public if Billy Joel told me to. That's all, the end.

Home Fries Reunited!
Julia likes to stare at my chest.

What's up, asshole?

Roommates!

Group photos are fun.

Amanda's new Facebook photo?

Apparently I bite.

Random pic that looked like a cross between Ronald Reagan and Satan.

"We want to be as irresponsible as possible, without being illegal."

Hooray for 3 day weekends. After the weekly trip to Shiro’s with Uncle Lou last Friday (holler hibachi), I went back to Ridge. On Saturday, I picked up Ian-face & Claudio and off we went to Hartford to visit Brian for his 23rd birthday. After enduring 3 hours of “Colleen’s a bad driver, we’re going to die” taunts from the boys, we finally got there. Because Brian’s the greatest friend ever, he had 2lbs of wings, fries & onion rings waiting for us. Ian-face, also the greatest friend ever, had purchased 2 cases (yes, cases) of Sam Adams Boston Lager for the celebration.

We hung around Brian’s kick ass apartment for a while & dicked around. I managed to get the boys to reprise their rendition of “You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feeling,” which was hysterical. At our senior prom back in high school days, Bri, C-dawg, & Ian had gone up to a teacher that Brian had a crush on and sung it to her in the middle of the party hall. It was so funny; I felt that after 5 years, it needed to be busted out again. I took a video of part of it. Despite their severe “this is NOT going to appear on the Internet or your blog” warnings, I’m putting it up anyway. I miss the good old days when this was the shit we did every single day.



(Here's the 2nd part)

After a rousing game of darts (no poker for once), we kicked around the idea of driving to either Foxwoods or Mohegan Sun (casinos in Connecticut), as Ian-face really wanted to go. We decided to hit up Brian’s favorite bar first since the rest of us were ambivalent about going. Because I’d drank the least, I wasn’t going to drink at the bar in case we decided to go, as I’d (of course) end up having to be the driver. We met up with one of Bri’s friends from work. This is the bar (Vegas) that's famous for having liters (yes, liters) of beer. At one point, I walked with Brian to a gas station so he could buy cigarettes. We were still debating going to a casino, despite it being midnight at this point, but the big issue was whether or not they could go the hour it would take to get to either one without drinking. So Brian decides to call the Hartford police station & ask the desk sergeant if there’s an open container law in Connecticut (you can’t have open containers of alcohol in a car in NY at all). He was on hold for roughly 23 minutes, but we got our answer: Nope. As long as the driver wasn’t drinking, the passengers could be.

In typical Brian fashion, he thanks the officer (O’Brien) and goes, “Thanks, man. We want to be as irresponsible as possible, without being illegal.”

Yes, that is a direct quote. He even repeated it when the cop went, “Um, WHAT?!”

I love my friends.

We didn’t end up going to the casino because at this point, it was 1am and I was tired of not being able to drink. We walked back to Brian’s apartment & chilled there. And by “chilled” I mean, “Claudio passed out almost immediately while Bri, Ian & Brian’s friend Mike D. did shots of cheap orange vodka that Colleen knew better not to touch because cheap orange vodka means trouble.” Naturally, we had to fuck with C-dawg while he was sleeping, hehe. The night got better when we put on Arrested Development & I totally dorked out. I’ve been stressed out because of work stuff and moving preparations & couldn’t sleep at all, so I ended up doing the 3 weeks’ worth of dishes that had built up in Brian’s sink. It took me over an hour, til almost 5am. Claudio had passed out in the most inconvenient way possible on the couch & Ian-face had fallen asleep on the bathroom floor (cheap orange vodka always means trouble) soooo I ended up sleeping for an hour & a half on the most uncomfortable chair ever. But it was all good.

We were celebrating Uncle Lou’s birthday on Sunday, so I got the boys up early, dropped them off at the ferry so they could get to Port Jefferson & headed to Syosset for bday weekend, round 2. On the way back, I was starting to think about work/moving shit & making lists of everything I have to do this week in my head. I totally wasn’t paying attention and ended up getting pulled over for speeding (74 in a 50, go me) right before I crossed the Throg’s Neck bridge. Now, honestly, I’ve been pulled over like 6 times before. Thank heavens for Uncle Lou’s PBA card, which has gotten me out of all of them. I figured that this time, my luck was out, it would just be fitting with everything lately that I’d get a ticket and have to worry about going to court and getting points off my license and paying a zillion dollars and giving up a day to taking a defensive driving class to make up the points, etc. I was so distracted, so exhausted that when the cop came to the window, I was literally shaking. Then fate stepped in (again).

Cop: Why are you shaking?
Me: I’m nervous.
Cop: Why are you nervous? Because you’re a Yankees fan (I was wearing my Mariano Rivera shirt) and they’re losing?
Me: (nervous laugh) Yeah, I was at the game on Tues. It was awful.
Cop: Tuesday? So was I!
Me: Didn’t you just want to cry after that first inning Manny home run?
Cop: Tell me about it. Tell you what. You stay put. Whose card is this?
Me: My uncle’s.
(Goes to his car & gets on the phone, as I wait.)
Cop: I called the number and the guy said he didn’t know you!
Me: (Look of horror) WHAT?! I live with him! His badge number is [###]!
Cop: (Laughing) I’m just kidding. You can stop shaking, it’s okay. It was just speeding, that’s all! Unless you have any weapons of mass destruction in here that I should know about.
(At this point, I’m PRAYING that the boys didn’t leave any beer in my car.)
Me: Umm, I just have a lighter…
Cop: You were just speeding. Go home, relax, stop shaking. It’s fine. Have a good weekend. Let’s go Yankees!

Yeah. So…that happened. Thank you, universe. Thank you, thank you.

ANYWAY, Monday, I hit up Smith’s Point Beach with Ian-face, Claudio & Frankie, which was awesome. Okay this never-ending post is finally over. It really wasn't that bad of a way to spend the last 15 minutes... :)

Of "Lost", Haircuts, Apartments & Graduation

For all my Lost fan friends, this may be the funniest thing I heard all week:

JNorton15: So you want to see possibly the best Lost message board quote ever?

JNorton15: "When Rose said to Bernard "If you are going to be hiding in the bushes, lets get you into something dark" .. was she refering to herself ???"

Anyway, I didn't want to leave a sad post like I did yesterday as the last one I did, especially since May 17 is over & I feel much better now AND there's all sorts of awesome things going on right now.

1. I cut my hair, about 7 inches. I don't think I look like me at all, but sometimes you just need a change, so I'm glad I did it :)

2. Amanda Giordano & I are moving into an apartment in Astoria, Queens on June 1. Visitors welcome. Yay, NYC livin'. It's sort of scary to officially be an "adult" now, but we all know that I'm definitely not going to start acting like one any time soon. Hooray for being broke, but it'll be worth it...

3. I helped Paul from Barenaked Hurley (the Lost parody band) write his last 2 songs & it was really fun. I stayed up literally all night on Tues so help him finish it, but it was such a blast to be a part of something that awesome. If you're a Lost fan, go to iTunes & download the Barenaked Hurley podcast feed, because all of his songs are hysterical.

Finally, to all my Marist friends who are graduating - GOOD LUCK! I'm so proud of you guys & I miss you all a lot. I'll (hopefully) see most of you tomorrow, whenever I get up there (I'm going to Rachel & Will's grad party). <3

Sane is a relative term.

Okay, so made my return to Marist April 21 for Festival, the student written/acted/directed one act plays. Damn, I freaking miss MCCTA, which is somewhat disgusting. I have my soul back, this should NOT be happening. Haha, Phil has a tendency to reuse his favorite line from his play the year before in whatever play he's written for Festival current year. For Speed Demons (the show I was in Sr. year), it was my infamous Marisa-Tomei-influenced-Jewish-LI-accented-"32 hours!" monologue from Gods, In General (his show from Jr. year). <3 I love that Phil writes parts just for me & Steph, hehe. So spoiled. Anyway, this year, he gave Steph the same line from Speed Demons, which I love: "Sane is a relative term. We're all completely nuts. Some of us are just more forward about it."

Last year, hell/tech week for Festival just kicked off the greatest month ever. After rehearsal, we'd all go to Eddie's house & chill out, drink, etc. til the wee hours. And let's not even begin with the crazy ass, never-ending game of Catch Phrase...(Natalie's the default winner, haha). Then everything continued to be awesome for the next month, til graduation. I remember constantly quoting one of my favorite movies of all time, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, in my away message - the "This is it, Joel. It's going to be gone soon" part. ("I know." "What do we do?" "Enjoy it.") And we all know how rough last summer was for me, trying to grasp that it really was all gone. Admittedly, I was not in a very good place for months after graduation. But I've talked that to death in previous posts, I'm so over talking about it right now.

My point is that going back & walking around campus, it was almost like I never left, which was weird. I keep in touch with all my friends who are seniors - and I remember talking to everyone who graduated a year ahead of me at this time last year. Everyone goes through the same thing. They're all excited, but panicking about graduation & the real world. It's freaking scary. You start to really reminisce about the last 4 years. How intimidating it was to be a freshman & how graduation seemed to be so far away. Then, bam! Suddenly, YOU'RE the senior. You're the one that the freshman look up to, are scared to talk to (as Joey put it: underclassmen had this concept that he was 'all that' & were amazed if he said hello to them at a party or something & he didn't get why, until he remembered that he was the exact same way; we all were). Plus, you grow up a lot in those 4 years. Being away from home does wonders because you start to come into your own as a person. I certainly did. Definitely did. It's strange to watch them all experience the same emotions that I saw the seniors have when I was a junior & felt myself. Now seeing it from all 3 sides, I have a clearer perception that everything is okay in the end. Just as Phil points out about sanity, it really is all relative.

Anyway, it was also Phil's 22nd birthday, soooo at least I got to see everyone. I was up there for most of the day, met John for a little while, hung with Joey for a couple hours (drove him on a beer run, for old times sake), got to go to the Palace with Phil & Beth for dinner - hooray for sweet potato pancakes! :) Chilled with Crissy, Steph & Steph. "Slept" on Steph (Speranza's) couch. Here's pictures for anyone who actually cares. Note how exhausted I look in all of them, because I haven't slept in ages it seems. Yay, insomnia.

Phil & his muses; Speranza & I stay sane inside insanity :)

The lovely Miss Garrison
Memory of the Day: Matt dressing up as a mental patient & wandering into people's houses until someone called security on him. Typical.

The beautiful Amy Kate, who took over for me in my MCCTA board position :)

The audience loves him! (And he loves the audience for loving him.)

I got back from Marist the day after the Angri-Storey gala around 4ish. I hopped on a train to NYC to meet up with Julia & Ali to go see Eddie's off-Broadway debut, "What We Understood." I'm so proud of my Home Fry! :) It was really well done, written by some of the actors. It talked about how we react to different choices & circumstances & relationships in our lives, relating current situations in the play to each characters' past. The acting was impressive. Normally, student shows can be painful to watch cause they just don't have the right balance between art, acting & production. But it was really good. Julia & I were almost freaking out at some parts bc we felt like some of it was "really speaking to us" (insert awkward laughter). Afterwards, we all went to one of Eddie & my new fav places, Rendezvous (8th & 46th). On the way back to Penn, we took one of our awesome Coll/Eddie pics (not as awesome as our Britney/K-Fed picture, but close).

Worked all day Sat. with a wicked cough, likely due to the weather actually deciding to act like it was Jan. & the past few nights of 4 hours sleep. Sat. night was a 60th bday party for an uncle at a really nice party hall. Resurrected the Banquet/Sr. Formal/Tonys dress. I love that freaking dress.

I played hookie from work on Sunday to visit Julia & the Brooklyn Museum. We wanted to go to the Annie Leibovitz photo exhibit since it was closing that day. Neat-o. We also explored the Egyptian floor (mummies are rad). Afterwards, we went to some panini place in Park Slope Jules just discovered. I can't wait til Amanda & I get our apartment in Brooklyn & I can do shit like that all the time (not like I don't do it now anyway, but that I can do that shit & not have to sit through a train ride every time). 4 1/2 months...

Why are Allison & Julia so hot?

This may be a terrible picture of me, but Eddie still thinks I taste good...(?)

Did someone say "Peep Show"?! Home Fries are SO there.

(Caution: Mean Girls alert) I'm just here with my boyfriend...

The Angri-Storey Party Story

Alright! So last Thurs. (Jan. 18), I made my way up to Potown for the big Angrisani-Storey 21st birthday gala. I got up there around 6:30ish & made a beeline for the Palace. I miss that glorious diner goodness. Being that I cannot cook for shit, I used to get takeout from there a couple times a week, especially since I lived right down the road last year. Mmmm sweet potato pancakes & turkey egg-white omlets with sweet potato fries. Sigh.

Moving on. I killed some time by going to the Galleria. Did that weird thing I do when I want to kill time (try on prom/formal dresses). Heard some 14-yr-old girl in the dressing room talking about how she was going to meet up with some 24-yr-old guy she met on MySpace. I wanted to go up to her & shake her til she understood just how much that was a really stupid idea. I set off to Rachel's to chill with her & Will (their wedding is only 9 months away - craaaaazy). We watched quality NBC Thurs. night comedy. Speranza joined us with tales of her new wild & crazy life as a single gal. She's too hot for her own good, haha. xoxo. I left for campus around 11:15.

I had fun, but as I walked in, I saw Joey, who said something along the lines of, "What? Are you still trying to relive your college days?" It was innocent, but it still made me feel a little weirded out. I'm really not trying to do that; I'm just still good friends with both Matt & Eddie and they drove all the way to my house for my grad party last June, so why shouldn't I celebrate their bdays? I wish Eddie (G) had come with me, like he would have if he hadn't had final dress rehearsal. I ended up talking to Phil, Mark Heftler, Lorenzo-I-mean-Zeus-to-my-Hera, & some of Matt's friends from home outside for a long time. I may be sworn to secrecy, but Phil's writing another play (this time a full length) & there's totally a part in it for me (I've decided, of course). Yesssss Gods, In General/Speed Demons take 3, ahem.

I stayed at Crissy's that night (as I do every time I go up to visit; I really need to do something to show my appreciation since half the time, I don't even see her til I show up between 1:30-3:30am begging for a couch). I barely drank at the party (I really was just there for the guys & not to get trashed at a college house party), so I had no problems getting up early the next morning to go for a little run on my old route & then sneak into the gym & use the pool to do some laps. I haven't done a swimming workout since I was trying to get into shape for all the skimpy Rocky Horror Show costumes & I kinda miss it. So yay Marist, yay Matt & Eddie, yay Phil, Lorenzo & Mark, yay Crissy, yay Rach, Will & Steph, & any other really gay things I can 'yay' (yay Palace!).

Divas Take Manhattan

It's been a busy, busy few weeks with work @ AT, the "real job" hunt, the podcast & lots of crazy adventures. It'll be a massively long post if I talked about everything at once, so I'll just go in order over the next few days.

First weekend in Jan., as mentioned in "Don't go across the tracks," Allison, Amanda, Julia & I met up at Ali's apartment in Chelsea for a little diva reunion. (After I finally got there,) we (sadly) skipped the tree in Rockefeller Center in favor of dinner bc we were all starving. Julia took us to this place called Gingerman's on 34th that had beer from around the world. If you ever go, get one of the hot dogs. They're faaaabulous. We went back to change & decided to go to Marquee around 11:30pm. Ali lives just a few blocks from all those "trendy celeb" hangouts so it was lovely to not have to walk far. It was also ridiculously warm for Jan., as we were wearing short sleeves/tank tops without jackets. The club is pretty sick nasty, but you can only sit down if you buy a bottle of wine or Grey Goose or Cristal for $250, minimum. We were not all about that. However, we had a secret weapon: Ali's freaking hot. She's "that blonde girl" that everyone always stops to hit on, no matter where you are. Ali took care of finding boys to let us sit down & share their Grey Goose. But I get ahead of myself.

So, no matter where I go, I'm always all about exploring the joint. I have to know everything about everywhere & what the deal is. It's the reporter in me. After quizzing one of the bouncers near the bar, I decide the place for us to be is upstairs. At some point, Ali asks - and I quote - "Coll, what shot can I get that will get us the most fucked up?"

Never ask me that question.

I'm trying to figure out what level of inebriation that everyone's at (which at 11-f'ing-dollars a drink really wasn't that high at all), combine it with what time of night it was, divide it by number of non-sketchy hot dudes in the place who I'd trust buying one of us a drink (I'm picky & judgemental so that number was also very low) & then multiply that whole equation by just how nice I'm feeling at the moment. I consider going for Rumplemintz...because who doesn't like 150-proof toothpaste? But I can't do that to the girls. So I opt for 151. Yeah, I don't know why either. I think I was bitter that I'd been there for 2 hours, only had like 2.5 drinks & getting another would cost another $11. So I rationalized that I was doing everyone a favor.

No one threw up, but no one could quite breathe for a good minute afterwards. I've done 151 with Frankie & Brian at home and it's never seemed quite as evil as it did at that moment. Luckily, I came to my senses quick enough to ask for a glass of water for everyone to chase with.

So Ali finds some dudes to let us sit at their table. I become bored with them very quickly & turn to my left and make friends with these 2 gay guys, Mark & Lee, who lived in Canada & Michigan and had just spent New Years in Egypt. I'm fascinated by people's travel stories & quickly ignore the girls & the table of dudes and talk to my new BFF's for the next hour & a half. At some point, they start pouring me Grey Goose & tonic. OH - Dennis Rodman was at the club but I'm surprised I even remember the entire night. I didn't realize how much overpriced vodka I drank until after we got home. Ugh. It was not fun.

The next morning, we all woke up & I had the hangover that lasted the entire day. I'm talking I felt like shit until I got off the train at 8pm. I've only been hungover 3 times in my entire life - that being the third. Now I remember why I usually cut myself off & start drinking water about an hour before I leave a bar even if I'm not driving. We walked around, got bagels, went to see the tree (hooray!), went to Central Park & then got dinner. Ali got hit on a bunch more times. I don't know how she deals with it. Frankly, if someone had tried to hit on me in the middle of Jamba Juice at noon while hungover, I'd probably have to have a very intense inner dialogue to keep myself from dumping my drink on their head. It was overall a very pleasant day. I had an awesome time, we're going to all meet up again soon, maybe around my birthday (Feb. 8). Hopefully Meagan can come this time.

Allison, Coll, Julia & Amanda - I mean Lipschitz, Pop, Six & Squish

I love lamp! And 70-degree weather on January 6!

Ali's good at Photoshop. Hooray.

Looks like the Grinch won this round.

Amanda covering her mouth is an unnatural thing.

Raise to the future, drink to the past

Ah, New Year's Eve. My favorite holiday after Halloween. After the traditional NYE dinner with my entire family in Syosset, I picked up Golio from the Hicksville train station (after waking him up at like 8pm & ordering him to get on the next train without choice). We dropped my car off at home. Christie drove us Danny Rittereiser's (Ritz) new abode on Bradley Dr. As much as I wanted to go into the city with Julia & Allison or party with Claudio, Frankie & Jenna Collins in Brooklyn, it was really nice to actually have something around the block for once.

Cassidy Jill & Ian-face were already there. It was a lot of Longwood kids that we never actually hung out with while in hs, so it was slightly awkward. Brian & Jen got there about an hour later. With our group complete (minus Claudio & Frankie), we had a good time. I got home around 4:30am & was up around 7:30am, completely awake. Golio, Katelyn & her friend were downstairs on the couches so I just ended up watching 24 on DVD, reading & taking a shower. I dropped Golio back off in Hicksville & then went to a diner in Syosset for our other annual tradition, which was brunch/resolutions. Later, Uncle Lou, Kate & I went to see Night at the Museum. I enjoyed it.

On a more introspective note, 2006 was a really strange, confusing, emotional year of change. I started it feeling very alone in general (fighting with Julia & Brian, bitter about feeling underappreciated in MCCTA, etc.), then had the whole 3 month acid reflux issues (medically, bc of a hernia, but I still think it was from the extremely, extremely stressful 1st semester I had last year, capped off by Uncle Emilio's sudden death & the toll that took on my entire family), then feeling frustrated over capping & fighting, then being brought out of it all bc of Children's Theatre (what I'll miss the most), Festival (which wouldn't have been nearly as much fun if it wasn't for all the nights of "bonding" at Eddie's, Catchphrase, vodka in the green room, all the ridiculousness our cast did onstage as far as improv, causing ourselves & each other to break character, the cast parties & that awesome fucking Sheila dress) & of course, Banquet. Such an emotional time. Then the indescribable feeling of graduation, the confusing, insecure summer which lead to me not acting like myself til Sept when my feelings were hurt further through a very passive aggressive message (though I admit I brought a lot of it on from my own immature behavior, which resulted from the confusion & insecurity I allowed myself to give into; it's a cycle, really). Anger caused me to snap out of it, but I was mad at the universe bc I was once again feeling alone, sad, self-destructive & insecure when months earlier I was feeling like it was all coming together. I hate hate hate who I am when I'm like that, because I'm not like that. The last 3 months of 2006 were spent being miserable over still living on LI, not having a real job & slaving away at Ann-fucking-Taylor with the virginal Jesus freaks who talk shit about everyone but smile to their faces. But that was 2006. 2007 is going to be so much better. It has to be. I'm right. The end.

When Tricia & I went to visit CJ for her 21st & then to Baltimore to visit her dad, it was right after the Children's Theatre's Liquid Lunch, which was absolutely the defining moment for me in terms of "it's going to be gone soon." Brian Sabella & I at one point, after successfully planning it 2 years in a row, looked at each other & said, "This is the last time we're doing this. It's not supposed to be the last time. How did this happen?" That's when I started crying in the middle of Toucan's, bc I just knew that everything I built for myself was going to be gone, just like that. So in Baltimore, I was in a melancholy place. I remember laying awake & thinking, "Is life going to get better?" And then came Festival, Banquet, Riverfest, our awesome magazine for capping, Yuck & Senior Week and...it did. And I'm so glad that it did, bc if I ended my time at Marist feeling that for once, I had nothing to complain about, I could hold onto everything that makes a person content with life & take great memories with me, even if none of it would be there afterwards. At least I left with a smile. And though I can be a depressive bitch, I'm generally a positive person bc I know that for every friend you fight with, every bad grade you get, every person that fucks you over, every melodrama, every stressful all-nighter trying to balance everything, every argument over buying toilet paper, there's going to be a moment where it all comes together, that makes you forget about everything that bothers you. And those are the moments that make it all worth it.

That said, here's pictures from NYE at Ritz's house, Casa de Bradley:

At the start of the night. Thursday's haircut was not a moment too soon.
Silly, Ian, you can't stop it so just don't try to fight it...
...Nope, he may be 1 hr & 52 minutes-ish older than me, but I still showed him, ha.
Some of the gang: CJ, Golio, Ian-face, Jen, Brian.

Thankful for what each of them taught me this past year.
In the words of Ms. Roxie Hart: "These are my boys." Ah, Golio. Oh, look. It's the Chris Golio fashion shoot. Awesome.
I love Ian-face, birthday buddy & prom date extraordinaire.
Poor Jen & Brian just wanted to play beer pong, after waiting through the world's longest game to get on the table (even Brian Sabella would have wanted to kill himself waiting for this game to end)...

...but CJ only really wanted to play with the dog. Typical. Doesn't she have like, 12 dogs at home that she doesn't pay attention to? jk

Goodbye, 2006. Hello, 2007.

Enough about me, let's talk about you for a minute

I've been working on this stupid post for the last week & a half. I did this same thing last year on my MySpace blog (back when I still paid attention to MySpace more than twice a month). You take 15 (or in this case, 20) people & write down something that you'd like to say to them, except it's completely anonymous. NO names. It's supposed to be an exercise in getting things off your chest (not like I haven't done enough of that since I started this blog lol). Anyway, I just reread the first one I did & a lot has changed since last year. It's funny how life is. I'm not saying who's who. You can try to guess (that'd be fun for me), but I'm not saying anything. Some are going to be very, very easy to figure out, others not so much. I love ambiguity.

1. The message you left me in Nov. was one of the most touching things that anyone has ever said to me, which is somewhat ironic considering most people would never guess that you're the type to say such sweet things.

2. It's been explained to me many, many times by many, many mutual friends, but I still don't understand why you resented me so much in the first place. My offenses have been either unintentional or reactionary to how you treat me. I wish things could be different, whether you believe that or not.

3. I'm still ever so grateful that you never got involved in any of the drama a few years back; I was so scared that you'd write me off as crazy & take sides because I had done my fair share of damage for years. I'll always consider you an older sister, a role model & a great person to have an adventure with.

4. I've never really thanked you for your startingly quick perception & subsequent speedy reaction at my graduation party. Thank you. Your genuine reaction(s) meant so much more than I can express without getting more mushy - and we both hate mushy, so I'm gonna stop.

5. To the other extremely observant, fast stair-climbing friend: I can't think of a better person to start my "real world" life with, if we can ever actually get it started. And by "we" I mean "I".

6. I miss you. I know everything's different & you can't be friends with me like you used to be, but I miss you & that's why I'm so hard on you. It's selfish, I know.

7. I'm proud of you. Your strength & determination hasn't gone unnoticed. Thank you for getting me out of a very bad situation. I know you warned me repeatedly not to get into it in the first place, but not saying "I told you, it's your own fault" (maybe bc you knew I knew it immediately) is a credit to your character.

8. Ever since I started to realize & accept it, I just can't stop saying it, secretly hoping you'll read it & understand (though the chances of you seeing this are very slim): You made the right choice. You're happy, which now makes me smile. I could never have done that, but I really did want to.

9. You changed my attitude the most by letting me just be a miserable son-of-a-bitch all summer & then socratically tricking me into being ME again. I have no idea how you managed that, but 100 gold stars for you. Every bad place yields a positive. Ah, allusion & metaphor: How appropo.

10. I've come to understand you & respect you. I'm sorry that you're so misunderstood by people, including a pre-6 months ago me. You don't deserve it, I wish there was something more I could do to make people see that. But things never stay the same, I promise.

11. If there was anyone I ever wished I was more like, it's you: confident, smart, sexy, self-aware. I don't think our group would have survived if you weren't the voice of reason. I love you, I wish you all the happiness in the world; Unite, fo' lyfe.

12. Take a break or you'll be more burned out & bitter in May than you can even imagine. Trust me. You're being foolish by thinking you can do it all & you're too talented to ruin it by stubbornly carrying the weight of it all.

13. You're one of my closest friends, but your self-loathing rubs off on me & further spurs my own neuroses. I think you love to be miserable more than anyone else that I know. Your insecurities are so unfounded.

14. The moment that I really knew you were truly a beautiful person (in addition to amazing friend) was the moment you called to "check up" on me, because I know you were in a very difficult position & could've easily ignored the entire thing. That, my dear, was massive karma points for you.

15. It's utterly amazing to think about how a year ago, we were calling each other lunatics & crying over whether or not we could salvage our friendship. It says a lot when you get through something like that even stronger, like it never even happened. I'm so glad we did bc I love you so much. "Breathe, just breathe"

16. I've spent the past 20 years wishing I could be more like you & that's the truth of the matter.

17. (A 2-fer) A good deal of my everyday conversations & thoughts are credited to you two. I must have been one uninteresting girl before you. I miss you guys & what we had the most.

18. If you're even reading this, I will be sincerely surprised. I wasn't going to even include you because I'd love the chance to talk to (not yell at) you, but c'est la vie. At least I can say something. To start, I'm just going to take the easy way out & quote my girl Fiona Apple: "First you run like a fool just to be at my side/Now you run like a fool but you just run to hide/And I can't abide." I'm truly sorry things worked out as they did, though I can't say you didn't warn me. I'm also very sorry for how I presented myself to you towards the end, since that wasn't the real me, just the one who was going through a confusing transition & dealing with hurt feelings. I'm actually pretty awesome. Friendship is always on the table. P.S. For someone who defines himself as "being laid back & going with the flow," you certainly spend enough energy fighting a lot of what fate throws your way, huh?

19. I hope this year, you finally figure yourself out because you're one of the most loyal & ambitious friends I've ever had, asshole.

20. You're too much like me for your own good; I hate that because I'm scared you'll fall into all the same ways to be as fucked up as I am. You're so much better than you can see.

NYC Christmas Fiestas & Harry Potter = SO Fetch

I actually had 2 Saturdays off in a row, which for a Dec. in retail is unheard of. I need a real job where I can have Sats off all the time. But enough of the pity party. Last Sat (Dec 2), I went to Julie & Courtney's Christmas par-tay, all the way in Upper Bumblefuck, Manhattan. Actually, it was a really nice area; I'd totally, totally consider living there if it wasn't so freaking far. I think they're on 210th St or something? It was 5 blocks from the Bronx border, at the Dyckman stop on the subway. Julia met me at Penn & we rode the 45-min ride together. Their apartment is really cute, the party was fun; I'm really glad that I went. Anthony came with Amanda Nietzel, as did Matt Hittenmark & all of their old housemates. Good times :). Matero & Eddie drove in & Shawn Lynch came, but they got there after I'd left.

Of course, I was slightly buzzing when I left, so I missed the subway & subsequently missed the train I wanted to take back to Hicksville. (I was completely fine by the time I got to my car since it was 2 hours after I left the party, though, I promise.) All of the cousins on my mom's side had gotten together that night (there's 12 including my mom, aunt & uncle). By the time I got to Syosset & called my mom, they were all finishing up. I decided to just go home & go to a party all the way in fucking Mastic with Tricia. After driving around in circles, we finally found the right street, which of course was on the other side of Wm. Floyd, with no street sign. All we had to go on was it was "by 7-11 & before the Smith Point Motel." But it was fun. We didn't do too shabby in the beer pong dept. I made Tricia drink for me the last 1.5 hours since I wasn't even going to risk driving from Mastic to Coram to Ridge, especially since I'm a big fan of taking Whiskey Rd everywhere I possibly can, at all hours of the day/night. She was waaaasted. It was a looooong night of social activity for me.

On Tues, I went to a "Pre-Holiday Grand Opening" of a salon owned by a celebrity stylist in the West Village that I was invited to through STARKED NYC. I'm not going to say much here, but here's the link for the posting I did on the website about it. I didn't know if I could bring anyone, so I had told Tricia she couldn't come. Then, I'm on the subway & I look at the invitation again & see that I can bring a guest. I'm an idiot. I called Julia cause I knew she'd be getting out of work & on her way to the subway to go home & made her come meet me. Bribing people with free booze always works. Anthony met up with us afterwards & we continued all the drinking at some bar, though not for free. I went back to Syosset, since I had been there since Mon night bc of Grandma's surgery on Tues morning. I stayed there to help take care of her til Wed night. <3

Yesterday, I drove into Brooklyn to straight chill with Julia again. She, Annie Russell & I went to get a Christmas tree for their apartment, which we strapped to the roof of my car. Jules & I put lights & festive/gay red bows on it. After eating almost an entire bag of Swedish Fish in about 4 minutes, we decided it was time to get real food. So she, Annie, another roommate Kevin & I hit up a diner. Anthony, Amanda & Laurie were having a party that I had promised Matt Dunning I'd go to, but it was cold & by the time we finished dinner, it was late. They live on the Upper West Side & it's an hour subway ride from Brooklyn. That's not so bad, but I had to work today & couldn't get home really late. I felt badly, though. We promised Dunning we'd go to Boston before March 1 to make it up to him. So it looks like I'm goin' to Boston.

So instead of going out like normal 22-year-olds, what did we do? Watch Harry Potter & the Goblet of Fire! I've been rereading all the books again. The only other movie I've seen is the first one, which didn't do much for me. This one = so good. I got ridiculously into it too. If I were Julia (or even Annie, who probably heard me in her room), I'd definitely have rolled my eyes at the extreme level of nerd that I was emitting. I may or may not have tried warning Cedric Diggory to turn back at the end in a vain attempt to save his life. I also may or may not have squealed when Voldemort came back. Fantaaaaaastic. I got home in an hour, 15 minutes. Great success! The L.I.E. isn't so bad when there's no traffic. OH & there's a Palace Diner in Queens - I feel as though I need to go there just out of principle.

Some P.S.'es:

• Mean Girls has been on TBS all weekend. So fetch. Holler.
• The 6th season of Scrubs started last week. Double holler.
• I'm now obsessed with The Office. Jim is my new crush.

There's Always the Next

2am and i'm still awake writing this song
if i get all out, it's no longer inside of me
threatening the life it belongs to
and i feel like i'm naked in front of the crowd
'cause these words are my diary screaming outloud
and i know that you'll use them however you want to
but you can't jump the track
we're like cars on a cable
and life's like an hourglass glued to the table
no one can find the rewind button now
so cradle your head in your hands
-Anna Nalick

Warning: this is going to be a bit of a downer post, since I'm in one of those moods. And it's long. Don't bother to read it if you don't want to hear me bitching about shit that makes no difference in the scheme of things, that I brought on myself anyway. Skip to my last post, it's a funny story.

You know how certain days or events can trigger 'those' types of feelings? Where you just sorta harp on things that you can't fix, particuarly because you know that you can't fix them? Well, October 20 is one of those really stupid days for me. I'm going to be ambiguous because I'm not writing this to call anyone out, since I'm of the school of thought that it takes two people to fuck up *most* situations and I'd never be so arrogant as to assert that most of the shit that bothers me isn't at least partially my fault. I can't ever leave anything alone & have the tendency to beat a situation to death, especially if I know that I can't win - and even more especially if it's something that I really, really wish was different.

Anyway, what's bothering me is bad choices, second chances & acceptance.

Bad choices: I used to let things scare me. I cared too much about stupid shit, like the "what ifs" or what people on the outside of a situation thought of it. I just didn't want people to know what I was thinking - or rather, I didn't want people close to me to know how i was feeling. I know now, years later, that "what ifs" & the paranoia of opening yourself up are just excuses to run away from something you want but you're not sure of. I don't think that anything is ever black & white. Nothing is either "this" or "that". You just have to be brave enough to try something out because you never know if it will be the best thing of your life. As Gilda Ratner said, life is "delicious ambiguity." And if it doesn't work out, yeah that sucks, yeah it'll sting for a while, but we all float on. In hindsight, I know now that the right choice was made by someone. I wasn't a sure bet. I was angry & hurt over feeling not good enough for a long time - probably, honestly, til this summer. But time & maturity lets you rethink what happened. I can't say that if the situation was reversed, I wouldn't have done the same thing. It just happened to me but it changed me. It made me a little less afraid each subsequent time. Then again, nothing else really meant as much to me after, but it's ok. I think that the right choice was made & I'd even say it in person if it ever came up (not that it ever will, but I'd be man enough to admit it - I can actually write about it, even if it's very vaguely).

Second chances: I'd like to think that I'm a good person. I just get a little carried away sometimes. I'm passionate. But I try, I really do. And I wish that I had had a second chance with certain things, most recently something that happened this summer. (Or didn't happen, depending on how you look at it, haha - oohhh I hope I never lose ability to make small jokes like that to keep myself from going crazy in general.)

In any case, I blame karma. I've been in the reversed situation before ( see above!), so there was a moment when I just knew that there was no hope for me. I just did. And I want to say a great many things right now, but though I'll probably never get to say them, they're not for public forum. I barely talked about it to anyone - even Julia, Randy, Cassidy kept hearing, "I don't want to talk about it, it's not you, I just don't want to."

Even now I'm kinda considering taking this paragraph out because I'm terrified that anyone reading it will know what I'm talking about & roll their eyes at me for sounding lame. I'm just very sorry that I took my own disappointment & unhappiness out on my friends who have always been around for me, like Brian, Ian, Bobby, etc. Thank God for Claudio & Frankie, even in their somewhat buzzed state, for seeing I wasn't all rainbows & butterflies at Joe's party & not letting me leave until they were certain I was fine, even though they just sat in my car with me in silence cause I didn't want to talk about what was wrong. They cared when I needed it. And though I was pissed at CJ (Cassidy) for taking my phone at my grad party & making a phone call that I did not know about until afterwards, she & Claudio were amazing at taking care of me one night in July. Seeing that I needed to just be upset for a night to get a shitty day out of my system, they really were good friends that night. Especially because I again "didn't want to talk about it." CJ, Brian & Ian whisking my hungover ass away to Splish Splash the next morning at the ass-crack of dawn was just what I needed too: to be reminded that I have friends who care, even when I don't think that I deserve it or am selfishly wallowing in my own disgusting self-pity. They'll always give me second chances & for that, I'm truly grateful. Golio was a godsend too. He was the one who really gave it to me straight without even asking me any questions for details or info. I wouldn't have gotten myself back on track as quickly without Chris Golio's tough love, ha. Matero, too. He got me out of a bad situation towards the end of the summer, even if it wasn't quick enough. He tried though; I just was too stupid to listen to him to get out of there sooner. I was drunk & had to see where the train was going to crash. I wish I had listened to him. I wish to God I had. I knew I wasn't getting any second chances before that night, but after that, I think that the first chance was pretty much tainted forever.

The moral of the story is that I need to stay off the Facebook for at least 2 weeks. I hate randomly checking people's profiles & discovering shit that I don't know about & never would've known. Cause now it'll bother me, which is completely & utterly retarded. I'll know it's lame & then get pissed at myself for being lame & pathetic. It's a terrible cycle. But certain things have hurt my feelings & it's all the Facebook's fault. The end.

Acceptance: During one of the Mets games at Matero's house this week, his cousin told him & Ian that "she's a chick, but she's more of a man than both of you," because I held my own in the pizza/donut overindulgence (UGH I'm TOTALLY paying for it now though) & had no problem screaming obscenities at the screen, arguing about baseball strategies & letting them fart in front of me. Despite my apparent "one of the guys" qualities, I'm still a girl. And I don't like to accept that something is over, especially when it's not on good terms. Hence why I was angry for almost 4 years over ^, still wish that I was at Marist like woah & had to make sure that I must've totally looked like a fucking crazy person this summer. I just don't. I don't generally hold grudges. I hate knowing that there are things that I can't fix, won't get closure for, can't change, can't at least talk about to find some sort of peace. One October 20 I finally gave in to something I always wanted & now I'm reminded that because I waited so long...it was too late. And that was the hardest thing I've ever had to accept, hands down. But I did & I survived to finally talk (write) about it.

One last confession while I'm at it: Honestly, I've been putting up all those Facebook pictures & blogging about good times a lot more lately as more of a way to convince myself that everything is okay in the end, I can have a good time even if I'm not totally feeling it & you just have to keep chugging thru. Obla-di, obla-da. Life goes on. Sometimes I wish that I was included in other people's fun times or that they were included in mine, but I'm grateful for what I've got going on & the friends I've got.

I doubt anyone's still reading this, but if you made it down this far, I came across this postcard from PostSecret. PostSecret is this amazing website where people write down their secrets on a postcard & mail it in anonymously. It's absolutely incredible - I'd totally love to start my own version of it. Imagine getting whatever's bothering you off your chest but no one has to ever know it's you. Check out the site. Anyway, I found this postcard & it especially applies to something that I think is at the core of what's really making me so emo, though I'm not sure why it matters so much. It just does, probably because I know I made some bad decisions, I'm not getting any second chances, and I'm just going to have to accept it:

I'm so silly. Silly, silly Colleen! At least I know that anyone referenced but not identified by name in this probably isn't reading it. And if they are, then they can holler at me if they have a problem, question or comment. Really. I'm quite harmless. Peace.


"You know what? You're the first person I ever told about this...and I feel a little bit better."

Oohhh they wanna dance with somebody

Julia & I went up to Marist this weekend to see And Then There Were None (as did Courtney & Julie). It was strange to sit in the Nelly Goletti & NOT have to worry about anything. At all. I haven't done that since freshman year. Congrats to everyone, they did fabulous - extra special pats on the back for Cassie & Megan (producers), Erica my ROCKSTAR (PSM) & Christina (anyone who can make Amy Kate actually truly look like a 70-year-old woman gets massive snaps).

I hung out with Rachel, Will, Steph, Nate H., Jeremy & Ryan Defoe for a while afterwards, then made an appearance at the cast party. Rachel, send me those pictures that you took at su casa when you get a chance. Also, damn you Speranza for getting me back into a massive Tori-kick again.

I was still exhuasted from my 8 straight days at my crappy job, so I knew by last Tues that there was no way I was going to be drinking or anything like that this weekend. Anyway, Phil managed to convince me to drive him, Beth, Angrisani, Topher & Stephanie Garrison to Darbys at around 1-1:30am. How did he do this when all I wanted to do was go home to Crissy & Heather's couch & sleep? Irish Nachos. Damn it, I'm a sucker for those gloriously greasy, fattening, unhealthy waffle fries with bacon & melted cheese everytime. Damn you, O'Hagan. DAMN YOU & you "I can eat Irish Nachos at 3am & still look as hot as the movie star I will be some day" ways!

Moving on so this isn't another novel:

We took Angrisani's Irish Nacho virginity & it made him so happy that he & Topher just wanted to dance with everybody! OMG! There's even video of them celebrating! Could you possibly ask for anything more?! *Note that poor Steph totally realizes what she's gotten into by agreeing to come with us, hahaha. Beth is not there bc we made her the Irish Nachos Bitch & made her wait at the bar for an extended period of time with instructions to not come back with the goods.

After getting home at 3:30am (I had to take a trip to the Wall after I dropped everyone off. I didn't go during alumni weekend & that place has always given me perspective). I fell asleep on Crissy & Heather's couch in Fulton around 4am, got up at 8am, went for a short run (I missed my old course, esp. since I couldn't run the last like 2 weeks of school cause I was gimping around haha). Then I drove straight to my grandparents' house in Syosset to shower & get all dolled up for work, dropped all my shit off in Ridge in about 4 minutes and flew out the door to good old Ann Taylor Factory Outlet.

You Know How I Know Phil's Gay?

Heyyyyy let's play the "You Know How I Know Phil is Gay" game! I'll go first!!

"You know how I know Phil's gay?"
"How?"
"He sings Sarah McLachlan to himself when he's in the tanning salon alone."

*Thanks to Beth for telling me this story. It seriously made the whole staying up 2 hours later than I wanted to and DD'ing to Darby's completely worth it.*

How do YOU know Phil's gay? Someone else play with me!

Um, cause apparently this blog posting is now dedicated to Phil's homo ass, I promised I'd put this super awesome & totally exciting video of him swallowing liquid really quickly just to prove he's a superstar! Oh Phil, you're truly outrageous.



...but I still won the bet about the Carver.

Aaaaand noooow, 2 GLORIOUS, Ann Taylor-free days.

Um, I saw this sign in the bathroom of the Starbucks at 50th & Broadway last week. It amused me so much that I actually took a picture of it to share with all of you. Amanda Giordano is the only one who's actually taken as much pleasure in it as I have (I guess we're officially the corniest people I know). But, as Gob would say, "COME ON!"

Isn't it a little bit funny, or rather, absolutely hysterical that the sign gives instructions on how to wash your hands?! Does this mean that somewhere signs exists that tells people how to put their pants on or wipe their own ass?

Cassidy & Tricia - if you girls were there, you totally would've found it as humorous as I do. It's kinda like the license plate that Tricia & I came across back in April when we drove from Cassidy's apt in Elizabethtown to Tricia's dad's apt in Baltimore, after cracking about 483 jokes about all the Jesus freaks in PA. It's hard to read (it rained like woah that morning but I made her take the pic anyway):

(...it says "Love God". Tricia & I are going to hell.)

Ok! I FINALLY finished my 8 straight days of hell at Ann Taylor & now I'm totally psyched about having 2 days off in a row. If anyone wants to do anything, holler at me, I'm down, even if it's just sitting on a street corner somewhere & staring at the gravel. As long as it doesn't include anything remotely near Tanger Outlets, it's golden..

Soooo who's havin' a Halloween party?

I just finished day 6 out of an 8 day work stretch. I know there are a lot worse jobs out there, but I'm just so sick & tired of being there and not having a real job that I'm just, "Aaaaahhhh!!" I'm going up to Marist again this weekend to see And Then There Were None, MCCTA's first show this season. But I'm only going for the night, since I'm gonna have to work again all week & I REALLY want to sit at home, even if it's for half a day.

Here's the part where I get a little tiny bit annoyingly reflective: I realized what's so unnerving about being home. There's a whole other life/world that's still going on at Marist & I'm not a part of it anymore. It seems like the world's at that summertime standstill, when you take a time out from everything & then life resumes again in Sept, right where you left off. Because I don't have a real job yet (trust me, I've been looking), all I'm doing is working like crazy at Ann Taylor, but it doesn't seem like the world is moving. Yet it's going so quickly for seemingly everyone else, especially those at Marist. It's weird to go back or to just know that there's still classes, board meetings, rehearsals, papers, production meetings, etc. all happening & I'M NOT A PART OF IT. It's just...unnerving because I'm used to being involved & a part of everything. It's a step backwards, really; I'm stuck in Ridge & feel trapped, especially cause my friends from home are busy working (Ian) or living in NYC (Golio, Claudio, Frankie, Bobby) or Hartford (Brian). I still talk to them & Golio's out most weekends; I see Amanda, Matero & Julia a lot too, so it's not so terrible, but I miss everyone & the community I built there a lot. I still talk to Randy, Sarah, Phil, Amanda G, Eddie & Anthony a lot & keep in touch with Angrisani (who's so awesome he got us, Eddie Storey & Sabella season tickets to the Yankees next year!), Rachel, Annie, Steph, Crissy, Risa, Sabella, Josh-i mean-G-Force, etc. so I'm lucky. I miss everyone else though that I haven't talked to or seen in a while.

Onto the most important thing. Someone throw a Halloween party! I got invited to some party in Mt. Sinai or Miller Place or somewhere in that vicinity by some people from work, but let's face it - Eddie & I need to try to one-up last year's costume. I realize that NOTHING will EVER be as amazing as our turn as Britney & K-Fed but I love Halloween. I'd have one if I weren't on LI, since no one would actually be able to come, haha. So now I'm basically commanding someone to throw a Halloween party! K, thanks! :)

Last Wed, there was a staged reading of Softly Sara Falls, the play that I produced for ETG junior year. It's an original, unpublished script & MCCTA's production of it was its world-premiere. It's an awesome, amazing play. Heather Liebal (who played Sara & totally deserved to win the Best Actress award at Banquet) found out about it & organized for all of us involved to go. Everyone came but Randy (busy being a Jersey redneck), Jeff (real job in RI), Natalie & Joey (night classes). It was SO cool. Here's a picture of some of us waiting for it to start:

Caught a train to Poughkeepsie & time stood still

So alumni weekend was fabulous. It was great to be back in Potown & see everyone; it was just what I needed.

Went up on Friday afternoon & met up with Pookie (Amanda) & Gar (Sarah) at Culinary for a little Apple Pie Bakery goodness. Then Gar & I walked around campus for a while. We stopped in the Student Center to say hi to MCCTA (well, I said hi while Gar made fun of me for being overly social, as usual ha). I just busted right into the Mainstage rehearsal & tried to say hi to everyone at the Musical rehearsal but Tom had banned all alumni from entering the theatre all weekend, so whatev. OH we saw Bob Lynch, who I basically accousted. Then he said the word 'fuck' when talking to us, which we were both shocked & STOKED about since I've never heard Bob curse before. It was another sign that the night would be great.

We went to meet Pookie & Eddie & co. at Noah's, since they'd gone to Happy Hour. I hate Noah's, but I put on a brave face. Saw some older MCCTA alum, which was awesome. I really do miss Laurie, Karla & all them - especially Laurie & Karla. They were like my idols, man. After about 20 minutes (thank God) Pookie & Gar & I decided to pay Rachel Cronin a visit at work. She feed us, which was lovely, and then took us back to her house, where we hung out with her & Will for a while. They're getting married next Oct, which makes her the 3rd person I graduated with to get engaged, which isn't as weird as I thought it'd be. I guess cause she & Will and Rob & Lizzie Poo have all been together forever it was like both couples are married already. Katie & Justen have only been together a year but they're all about the passion & connection so I wasn't surprised when they got engaged.

I do find it hysterical that both of my senior year roommates got engaged the same weekend. There's definitely a self-deprecating joke/comment in there but I'm not going to make it.

Anyway, then Randy called & forced us to go to Hatter. Alice drove us. Randy told me I looked like a substitute teacher then tried to set me up with his fraternity brother. Geez, I guess I'm too hot for my own good or something.

After Hatter, they wanted to go to Noah's again so we did (UGH) but Risa was having an alumni party so Topher & this kid Matt who's the star of the musical came to pick me up. I wasn't wasted but I wasn't sober at all. I got to Risa's & started screaming "MCCTAAAA!!!" as soon as I walked in the door, which I thought was rather annoying/fitting for me to do. I said all my hellos & then went back with Crissy & Heather to their house & proceeded to drink some Octoberfest & eat Crissy's entire kitchen since I was in hungry drunk mode. I wanted to meet up with Pookie & Gar at Darby's & got Heather, Crissy, Angrisani, Joey, Annie, Megan & Courtney to come with. Yeah, there were 8 of us fitting into a 5 person cab. It was rather hysterical. Actually I think Eddie came too? I can't remember, but there may have been 9 of us.

After Darby's, Gar & I talked to Steph Speranza who said that we could stay in her room at the Mariott, which was FABULOUS. So we did that, chilled for a while with her, watched "Pulp Fiction" at like 4am and went to bed.

Next day was filled with wandering around campus, the Palace, more visits & hellos, etc. I went to dinner with Eddie & the divas-minus-Meagan at Double-O Grille, where Steph works. Five stars. Allison, Julia, Eddie, Amanda Giordano & I had rented a hotel room for Sat night so we went back there, pregamed & went out. I think the night was as follows: Foxhole for a bit then Amanda & I met up with Steph after she got off work while the others walked to Mahoneys; we waited in line there but got bored with it fast (the others were inside). Steph saw Sarah Gordon, who was going back to Noah's, so we hitched a ride with her & hung out at Noah's for a little while. Sarah's cool; she & Steph are hysterical together. Rachel & Will met us there & Steph, Amanda & I walked back to their house and chilled for a bit before going to Darby's. It was a laaaaate night and Julia, Eddie, Amanda & I rode back in the sketchiest cab EVER (Eddie was stepping in vomit, it was LOVELY) and we all tried to crash.

Palace the next morning (ah, how I missed thee). Everyone split after, but I walked around Vanderbilt for a while before coming home, totally spent.

Ok, this post is ridiculously long and probably only interesting to me so I'm going to stop for now. I'm going out to have an adventure with Golio. More later.

<3>

Take Me Back...

Dear Friends at Marist,

I'm so incredibly jealous of you all right now. In fact, I think that if I had to take 8am classes, 5 days a week just so I could go back and not have to be in the real world, I would be ok with that. So, kids, here's my advice:

1. Go out and have fun. After freshman year, I didn't do nearly enough partying (no matter how much Randy tried to tell me that i should go out & be fun) until tech week of Festival. Unfortunately, I decided I liked it so much that I've spent much of the past 3 months livin' like it's 1999. But that's not the point. My last month at Marist may have very well been the best time I had at school & it's what's making me want to go back so much more, haha.

2. Listen up, MCCTA: It's JUST fucking MCCTA. I know that statement makes me THE MOST hypocritical person on the planet right now but the show will go on. But please, don't let Crissy have a heart attack. Someone drag her away from the theatre once it hits 11pm. 1am is acceptable for tech weeks. Dunkin Donuts runs are your lifesavers. Yuhas will always be up for one. Oh, & make the new beer fairy do something totally unfair at least once. And fuck you for getting to do "Crazy for You," which is still my favorite show that I've ever done.

3. Irish nachos at Darbys. They're your best friend.

4. Riverfest is the greatest night ever.

5. The wall in Gartland is the best spot on campus.

6. Enjoy it. It's going to be gone soon. And before you know it, it'll be the end of Aug, 3 months after you've graduated & you'll wish that you weren't in the real world, but rather in your common room with your fantastic roommates (xoxo), laughing about hand drawn penis pictures, watching tv on dvd & having everything's silly time. And you'll be really missing all places, good times & the great people that changed your life.

Love,

Colleen

P.S. I really wanna go back.