Road Trip, Day 8 - In a MD/NJ/NY State of Mind

FINALLY. I'm so over talking about this trip, lol. Last day, Monday, Nov. 13. We got up & took a walk through Federal Hill in Baltimore with Mr. Bill (Tricia's dad) & got a very early lunch around 11:30am. I really do love that area. It's really cool; I can't wait to go back with Tricia again. Anyway, afterwards, we hit the road around 1pm.

We headed for Towson, because it's where Tricia went to school before she decided to get all married & move to California. Though from all the completely nuts stories that she's told me, it sounds like she crammed more into that one year than I did in all 4 of my years at Marist. I probably could've stayed in college for 3 more years & still never caught up to Trish. Yeah. So we illegally parked by the (where else?) theatre/arts building & then walked around campus for a little bit. You know, it's not a huge campus, but it still seemed so much bigger than Marist. Then again, we had 3 academic buildings (Donnelly, the Steel Plant & the Student Center so do NOT count) so any campus that has more than like 6 buildings total seems bigger to me. (Tangent: When I lived in Upper West Cedar that torturous year, I complained about having to walk 10 minutes to get to class. Claudio would tell me to shut the fuck up bc a short walk for the smart kids at Cornell was like 20 minutes. Related: we also didn't have tennis courts, the walkway & Jazzman's back in the day, either).

Tricia trying to figure her way around Towson while both in daylight & sobriety:

Yeah, so we drove around, trying to find the spot of Tricia's favorite Towson story, but she realized that most of the time she walked places, it was at night & she was usually inebriated. In fact, she wasn't sure she knew how to get anywhere that wasn't an academic/student center/place where hot lacrosse players practiced during the day. We stayed til about 3pm, then hit the road for New York. As soon as we got onto Rt. 695 (I think...), it started pouring rain. We drove all the way up Rt. 95 in it.

Randy texted me sometime while we were on the Jersey Turnpike & told us that we should come by his house. We're like, "Sure, why not? Let's delay going back to the actual world for another 2 hours!" So it's pouring rain & we get onto the Garden State Parkway. I call to verify directions not once, not twice, but THREE times. I get the "You're going the right way, leave me the fuck alone until you're here, I'm busy being a pothead" speal. We drive for about 10 mins before we realize that we're definitely going the wrong way. In the pouring rain. We finally get to the right exit & call for more directions & he gets us somewhat lost again. He can't help much bc he doesn't know street names (seriously?!). Figures that when we start naming places & we're near a mechanic, he knows where we are. The moral of the story? Princess Cupcake Assface is an idiot.

Yeah, so I'm totally outing Princess right now: Not only does he actually live on a river ("Colleen. It's Randy. I'm drunk & peeing in the river..." remains my favorite drunk voicemail ever), but it's RIGHT in his backyard. And there's a houseboat. With a kitchen, bedroom, 2 flatscreen tvs, shower, etc. Yeah. Pam & Vinny told us they tried to get him to not be so lazy & learn how to sail it so he could take it wherever (Vinny actually sailed it to Marist once, apparently), but the coolness of that was no match for the coolness of Mary Jane. We went to a diner, where they naturally made fun of me (see video) and then Tricia & I finally left for NY. Here's the video of Tricia's first visit to a diner in 2 years (they don't have diners in CA).

My favorite view of the city is from the BQE & I'm glad it stopped raining by the time we crossed the Verazano. It's such a gorgeous skyline, seriously. I said it then and I'll say it now: We traveled through the entire southern part of the US & nothing, nothing quite made me feel like I did seeing NYC. Maybe that's totally dorky, but it's true. We got home around 11:30pm, completely exhausted. I think I slept til 1pm the next day (Tues, Nov 14), which is crazy bc usually 10:30am is my sleeping late limit. It was so worth it though. If I could do it again, I would in a heartbeat.

Everybody say "Awwww" at Randy's 2nd grade picture! Can little Randy say, "Colleen wins this round."?

Road Trip, Day 7 - Baltimore At Last

I'm kinda getting tired of talking about the trip, so I'm going to try to do the last 2 days quickly. We got up early on Sunday, (Nov 12) - around 5-5:30am - & hit the road after grabbing a quick breakfast in the lobby of our little motel. We weren't much into the talking at first since it was early, so we decided to put on the rest of Van Wilder, which we had started watching on my laptop the night before in traffic. Yes, it was obviously the smartest thing to do. Randy might praise Tara Reid's acting skills, but personally, I'm not sure how Tricia was able to not want to crash the car everytime she came on screen (just kidding - American Pie & Van Wilder are the only 2 Tara Reid movies that only make me contemplate sticking things through my eyes, not actually seriously consider it; that honor is saved for special movies, like Josie & the Pussycats).

After briefly detouring in WV after missing an exit, we finally arrived in Baltimore at Tricia's dad's (Mr. Bill, as he's known) apartment in Federal Hill at around 2pm. Tricia wanted to say hello to people, so we walked to a neighbor's house where people had congregated to watch the Titans/Ravens game. Afterwards, we walked around the Inner Harbor of Federal Hill (that area is GORGEOUS) & grabbed a drink at a local pub. I was in Baltimore with Trish back in the very beginning of April (she came out for Cassidy's 21st so the 2 of us + Ian went to Elizabethtown to celebrate, then the next day Tricia & I went to her dad's for the night). I had met many of these people & seen some of the sites made famous from Tricia's childhood/college days at Towson stories. Um, can I just say that Poughkeepsie totally gypped us by not having a designated area for bars? Yeah, Toucans & Darbys were right next to each other & theorethically you could walk from Foxhole to Mahoney's or Renni's if you don't mind the potential mugging or raping, but Baltimore/Towson kids have - or at least had when Tricia went to school - this thing called the Source (I think). From what I understand, it's a warehouse full of bars that the college would drop students off & then pick them all up by bus at like 2am.

Afterwards, we went back to the apartment for a little while before heading out again to say hello to another neighbor & then went to dinner. Her dad's on/off-girlfriend, Irene, came with us. Afterwards, we went to this place called Metropolitian that had what could quite possibly be the greatest invention ever: the Expresso Martini. Yes, that's right. A lot of caffeine mixed with alcohol. And they actually tasted really good, too. Mr. Bill is so cool. It's not surprising that Tricia's so outgoing; her dad has so many friends & everyone in Federal Hill knows him. They used to joke that he was the mayor. His face his on a mural inside one of the bars, too!

We went back to Mr. Bill's place after that. Tricia & I decided to grab one last drink to celebrate the end of the trip. We were tired so we only stayed out long enough for one drink & actually had a somewhat serious talk. It's funny that we spent so much time in the car together & shared so many stories of things that have happened to each other since we last saw one another on April 6, but never really had a serious talk, about stuff like the future & things that have happened lately that have hurt us or bothered us, etc. I finally told someone about my different (as in not one specific thing) issues from this summer in their entirety, rather than the different bits & pieces I confided to different close friends bc I didn't want to talk about anything or be crazy & annoying by ranting (you know, cause getting inebriated was obviously the healthier option <<rolls eyes>>. Hindsight, hindsight). We talked for a while, then went home & went to sleep.

Waaaay too close-up video of yours truly praising the wonders of the Expresso Martini. Please note my new cap, which I managed to wear a grand total of 6 days before coming to my senses abandoning it, which is a record for me & fashion accessories.

What do we have here? Visuals?!

Finally at Mr. Bill's Brownstone.I look like I haven't slept in 8 days. Handlebar jokes not included.
With Irene & our Expresso Martinis. I still look like shit, ugh.

Road Trip, Day 6 - The Never-Ending Traffic Jam

Ok, so Saturday morning. Wasn't too hungover at all, but the damn bed was SO comfortable that I just didn't want to get up. I'm not even going to try to describe this bed because I don't think I could do it justice. It was magical. Fluffy, comfy, soft mattress, comforter & pillows. I'm not one to lounge around in bed very often, but I could've totally wasted the entire day in that little cotton heaven.

Moving on. I went down to the lobby while Tricia took a shower so that I could mail some postcards, browse the gift shop, etc. The hotel manager was there & asked if I was finding everything alright, told me about the Veterans Day parade the city was having, etc. Basically doing what hotel employees do. Then he asks, "Are you a part of the NY/CA duo?" LOL. Apparently word did get around the hotel. He offered us free breakfast vouchers to the awesome buffet (greatest french toast ever), which was so sweet. We didn't realize til when we got the check that they were worth like $20 each.

As Tricia said, Nashville was good for the self-esteem. The heavy-set, elderly, stereotypical black guy with the apron shining shoes in the lobby told us that we were very pretty girls, ha. It was fun being a headturner for a few hours. As much as I love being center of attention - or rather, love being in charge of things - I'm honestly very glad that I'm not one of those girls who all the boys fall in love with at first sight. I'm perfectly content with not being "that hot girl" because that type of attention always makes me feel uneasy, uncomfortable in general. I'd much rather people want to hang out with me because I'm fun rather than because they think I'm attractive. I think if I were hot, I'd act differently knowing that I could get things easier in life because most people will give me a break or a chance quicker because they want to bone me. That's not the kind of power I'd EVER want to have. It's creepy knowing you can take advantage of so many people/situations that way. I don't know. This is a long, unnecessary tangent. But it's true. Ooooohhh, insight into Colleen's brain! Oooooohhh. Scaaaaary

Alrighty then. After reluctantly checking out, we walked around Nashville for a little bit. Went to check out the Country Music Hall of Fame, did the tourist thing (cheesy short video, live from the streets of Nashville) & bought cheesy stuff. Tricia got a truckers hat (picture below) and I got a pageboy style cap that I'm determined to wear more than just 3 times, like I do every other fashion accessory I own except my Yankees hat, cross, rings & nameplate. Afterwards, we hit up the Parthanon, which is a replica of the real thing. It was pretty freaking neat actually. I love that shit. I wanna go to Greece. And Italy. And Egypt. And lots of places with cool historical shit.

So we set off around 2:30ish & set off to make it to or as close to Roanoke, VA as we could. Around 5:30, we stopped near Knoxville, TN at a Sonic - my first ever. Also great. So now I can say I like 3 whole fast food establishments: In-N-Out Burger, Dairy Queen & Sonic. Thank God that I can't get them on LI. Or in NY, in general (the Po-town DQ doesn't count). All was going well until about 6:45pm, when we hit some traffic on Rt. 81N, just outside Knoxville. After the "NOW it feels like we're on the East Coast" jokes, we realize that we're not moving still. An hour goes by. We move up about 10 feet every 20 minutes or so. Suddenly, it's after 8pm. We're still about a 1/2 mile from where we first stopped. We had the car in park for a while. We did have fun in traffic: we made fun of the guy in the car in front of us for actually getting out of his car & walking a HALF MILE TO MCDONALDS, which we could see in the distance. He made it back with about an hour to spare, no joke. There's lots of "Colleen & Tricia delirious in traffic" videos. Though the most ridiculous part is as follows:

We spent the majority of our traffic time in the right lane. At one point, Tricia looks into the car that was next/diagnally behind us. All of a sudden, I hear: "OH MY GOD! SHE'S GIVING HIM A HAND JOB! RIGHT OUT IN THE OPEN! OH MY GOD!" So naturally, I look over & sure enough, there's some hanky panky goin' on. But it's dark, so we move onto other things. About an hour later (the time all blurs together though), Tricia nearly starts choking and almost screeches, "OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! SHE'S UNDER A COAT ON HIS LAP! SHE'S UNDER A COAT ON HIS LAP! SHE'S TOTALLY GIVING HIM ROAD HEAD! THEY'RE NOT EVEN TRYING TO BE DISCREET! OH MY GOD!" So naturally, I look. Woah now. Yes, she was. Dude just had the best 2 hrs, 20 minutes of traffic of his life.

We actually found out towards the end that there was a 3 car crash with 3 fatalities. Sad. But at least we made the best of the wait. About 20 minutes before we started moving for good, we decided we were not in the mood for everything's silly time anymore & I busted out my laptop & we watched Van Wilder. It was after 9pm at this point & we were still like 350 miles from Roanoke & exhausted from the night before & the tenseness of the traffic. We crossed the border into VA & stayed at some hotel in Wyndsville (sp?) at around midnight. We woke up at 5am the next morning to try to make up for lost time.

Traffic is fun for the first 2 hours:


The McDonald's Run:


Photografias:

Best photo I've ever taken. And there's a very short, non-exciting video to accompany it.

I wanna be a cowgirl country girl for Halloween next year.

Country Music Hall of Fame: The George Strait/Johnny Cash lover's wet dream.
Tricia's newest fashion accessory.
The Parthanon. Anyone see Collins running naked through it?

It reads: Marriage. One man, one woman. Is Tennessee a red state?

Road Trip, Day 5 - Part 2: Trish, Coll & Jack Do Nashville

After checking in with Cassidy, who we get briefly pissed at for uninviting us to stay with her at UNC for what we still believe is NOT a valid reason, we're ready to go at around 7pm (we love you CJ but still). We get the boys in the lobby to give us a heads up on some places to eat & we're off. Tricia wanted ribs, so we head to Broadway, which is like the 7th/Times Square of Nashville. There's a long wait so we decide to just go get appetizers at a Honky-Tonk bar we see. This place was quintessential Nashville. Live country music band playing at a bar.

I texted Brian to tell him that we were in Nashville. Over the summer, we were talking about places we'd go back on vacation in a heartbeat if we could & he said that he'd go to Nashville. I was all, "Nashville?! Seriously? That's because you've never been to Hawaii or [tourist, non-dirty part of] Puerto Rico or Bermuda! Places with sun & beach always outrank touristy country music cities!" He was right, I'll admit it. Nashville = one hell of a good time. I want to go back for more than a night. Anyway, Brian tells us to go to some place called the Crazy Horse or something like that bc it's his favorite spot. It's really close by. We go, but there's a cover charge. We don't want to go inside the only bar in downtown Nashville with a cover.

So we decide to go to another bar across the street that has no cover charge. We walk in and there's randomly a sea of Balitmore Ravens fans, in town for the Titans game on Sunday. Tricia switches into "I'm from Baltimore, I went to Towson, I grew up in Federal Hill!" mode & starts comparing eateries & the like with them all as I concentrate on the utterly ridiculous picture text messages that Eddie & Julia are randomly sending me from a wedding they're at.

We order as we're talking to the legions of Ravens fans (I try to get in a "I was in Baltimore in April! I've been here & here & here!" but...no.) Tricia orders Jack on the rocks & I order Jack & coke. Apparently the bartenders in Nashville don't believe in pussy 6 ounce glasses that you get in NY. No, no. We get beer glass sized drinks. Tricia's is filled up three-quarters of the way. We look at each other (see picture below). We know it's all over.

We decide to just open up one tab & worry about working out who's buying which rounds later on. About 10 minutes later, the bartender comes over to us & says, "That guy over there took care of your tab." We glance down & see 2 goofy looking guys (NOT FUNNY LOOKING, but goofy as in "seeming like they had a sense of humor") who wave at us.

Oh, it gets better. The bartender continues, "He also has a message for you. He says he wants to storm your castle on his mighty steed."

Yeah, that's right. Dude quoted Anchorman to try to pick us up. HYSTERICAL. He comes over & asks us if that's the best line we've ever heard and we give him props for it. Then his friend comes over & we all start talking. We tell them that since the line was so great, we'll let them "tag along" with us the rest of the night. Tricia, to her credit, was up front with them both from the beginning that we were not going to hook up with them at all, but if they still wanted to hang out, they totally could; if not, then they could peace out.

We ended up going across the street to a karaoke bar, where more Jack Daniels was consumed by all. Tricia & I sang 3 songs: "Just a Girl," "Since U Been Gone," & "...Baby One More Time." Yeah, laugh it up. It was a lot of fun. There were a ton of Marines there, actually, much to Tricia's dismay ("Aaahhhhhh, I can't get away from them EVER!"). On a side note, at midnight it turned Nov. 11 - Cathy & Billy's anniversary. Trish & I privately toasted them bc it was important for us to remember them.

After almost 2 hours (I think?), we decide we're over this place. We head out to an 80's dance club, which was even funnier than the karaoke. It was definitely dirrrrrrtier, since there were lots of trashy people dancing to such great hits as "My Prerogative," "Billie Jean," etc al. The 4 of us danced, but much of it was dancing completely obnoxiously a la Sarah & Amanda at Darby's. We were there for about an hour & part ways with the guys. Tricia & I decide that food is our best bet, since we didn't really eat dinner & the only times I've ever gotten myself in trouble from drinking have consistantly been the only times I haven't eaten beforehand. We go to the local bar next to the Hilton that the boys from the hotel told us about. I think I took one bit of the chicken wrap we were splitting & decide know that it's not a good idea to eat right now. In fact, I got that sudden "Ok, I'm so done with tonight, I want to go home & sleep NOW" feeling. Tricia takes the wrap & mash potatos (& the bar's metal fork, of course) to go.

However, as we're walking back across the street, my genius friend remembers the promise that we could walk across the bridge drunk before we go back. She reminds me & suddenly, I'm so over wanting to go to sleep. Ah, isn't late-night public intoxication fun?

So finally, as promised at the start of the night, we made our way to the pedestrian bridge that our hotel room overlooked. And by "made our way," I mean "stumbled to". This is both the most embarrassing yet most ridiculously retarded video that we took this trip & it's here for your viewing (and mocking) pleasure:

We went back upstairs after this & I fell asleep instantly in the most comfortable bed I have ever slept in in my entire life. EVER.

Pictures! Wow! Exciting!

Night on the town? Ready, set, go.Yes, that is a glass of Jack on the rocks and only Jack on the rocks. The entire thing.
Consider us warned. Our new friend Justin, who liked Tucker Max & the same movies as Tricia.

Ohhhh I'm just a girl...

A night of drunken karaoke is not complete until you've done "Since U Been Gone". Duh.

Tricia & our new friends
So sexy; no wonder the boys loved us.
We love the 80's, it's our prerogative

Road Trip, Day 5 - Part 1: The Road to Nashville

Ok, so we're up to Friday. Friday was a long day & a crazy awesome night, so I'm breaking it up into 2 posts or else it'd be wicked reaaally long.

We got up around 6:30am in our little motel room in Checotah, OK & hit the road early. Our goal was to drive through the rest of OK, all through Arkansas & through half of Tennessee, ending up in Nashville for the night. We got through the rest of OK in probably about 4 hours, then drove the endless drive through AR. In typical Tricia fashion, she kept laughing to herself at a joke from some movie where the hero sucks at some training camp or wherever he is & there's this fat kid who has ulterior motivations for getting him to stick with the program (if anyone knows what the hell movie this is, let me know). The dialogue was something as follows:

Hero: Why do you want to help me so badly?

Fat Kid: You're my Arkansas.

Hero: What?

Fat Kid: Do you know what keeps Mississippi from being the worst state in the Union? Arkansas. You're my Arkansas. As long as you're around, no one will notice how bad I am.

Anyway, at around 10:30am, I decide that I'm hungry. We've been passing Dairy Queens at literally every exit in OK & AR. Being that ice cream is my ultimate favorite food ever, I decide that I need a Blizzard like Nicole Richie needs a hamburger. Since it's only 10:30am, we decide that we're going to wait til we get a few more exits til we stop. 3 more exits go by - No DQ. 6 more exits - nada. We cross the border into Memphis, thinking that at least we'll see a Starbucks, but still nothing. At this point, we've been up for hours & we're under-caffienated & hungry since we haven't eaten since 6pm. Still nothing. Finally, 260 miles after we say we're going to stop at the very next DQ, we FINALLY come across one, despite them being about 10 miles apart beforehand. Hooray for Pumpkin Blizzards & french fries:

So we finally get to Nashville around 4:30pm. We decide to check out a Hilton bc it's directly across the street from the Country Music Hall of Fame, next to Titans Stadium, a walking bridge, a giant concert hall, Broadway, etc. Basically it was prime downtown Nashville locale. I'm a little worried about the price since Tricia had said when she asked me to go with her that she'd pay for all the hotels & I don't want her to have to waste her $. She basically tells me to shut the fuck up, that we're in Nashville & we're going to do it up the right way. Word from the valets is that rooms are going to be $199. I'm like, "forget it" but Tricia makes an executive decision. We're just SO happy that we don't have to be in a car for at least the next 18 hours that we start talking to EVERYONE that works there. Now, you saw the video above. We're dirty & tired from 8 hours of car with only ice cream & french fries to eat all day. Plus, my hair was in 2 BRAIDS for God's sake. There was absolutely nothing attractive going on when we got to that Hilton.

We go up to the desk to check in but there's a small line. A clerk, Doug who was about 25, (yes, we learned all of their names) says that he'll take us over at his desk. We thank him. The rest goes as follows

Tricia: I have AAA card. Does that matter here?

Doug: I'll do you one better. The room is supposed to be $299 but I'll give it to you for $169.

Yeah. So we make friends with him, Daniel (the valet), the bellhop whose name I can't remember right now, one of the managers, etc. We had them show us on a map where we should go out that night. It was awesome. They all knew us & started to refer to us as the "NY-California duo." I know it sounds creepy, but it really wasn't. It's a totally different atmosphere than in NY. I can't describe it, really. Everyone was just very...friendly.

So the bellhop, who was from northern AR & doesn't really drink but was amused by our nonstop chatter regardless, shows us to our room. Except it wasn't a room. Noooooo, it was SUITE. THAT'S RIGHT, BITCHES! We got a suite at a freaking Hilton on a Friday night for almost half-price. It was awesome. So we get ready, I take lots of video in order to prove our nice the joint was & we're off for a night on the town. How did it turn out? To be continued...

The classiest Hilton I'll ever know:


The view:

Finally, some pictures:

Cotton fields. Inappropriate joke not included.

Do NOT mess with a woman's need for Dairy Queen.

Ah, now it finally feels like it should be a state where Bill Clinton is from.

Jesus loves you no matter what state you're in.

Cokesbury: Population Lindsay Lohan.

Road Trip, Day 4 - SO Over N.M.; We decide to mess with Texas

ay #4 - Thursday, Nov. 9, 2006: So we wake up around 8:30am on Thurs, hoping that the day will be a lot less eventful than Wed was. We get our free expanded continental breakfast & hit the road a little bit before 10am in good spirits. Today's going to be a day of just driving so we can gain some ground & get through the boring part of the south (New Mexico, Texas, Oklahoma). We want to make it to Amarillo, Texas (Tricia kept singing the George Straight song "Amarillo by Morning" & was dying to go to one of country music's favorite places to sing about). We have to get through all of NM first. It takes longer than planned, however. We hit "traffic" on our way out of NM. And by "traffic," I mean Rt. 40 closed down to one lane because of construction so we had to drive like 45mph instead of 80mph (the speed limit is a GLORIOUS 75mph).

Here's a lovely video of Tricia's version of "Don't Turn Back in Anger" to fit our current situation:

We finally made it to Amarillo, crossing into CST (NM is MST) & therefore losing an hour, which proved to be a massive pain in the ass bc we wanted to get as far as we could that day. It was interesting, however, because the sun still set at the same time. In NY, the sun sets around, what - 5pm? It's the same case for Cali. But in Texas, the sun didn't set until 6pm. This has no relevance to anyone's life, but it was something I noticed & felt like wasting 2 minutes of my life discussing. We found the only Starbucks between CA & Nashville in the middle of Amarillo & ate at some Southern equivalent of Applebees. It wasn't the greatest, but it wasn't awful.

After dinner, we decided to drive until we couldn't drive anymore. We ended up making it well into Oklahoma & stopped in Checotah around 11:30pm. For those of you who don't know (I didn't), Checotah is the hometown of Carrie Underwood. The only thing in Checotah is a bank, a Wal-mart & a motel where a lot of truckers stay. Oh yeah, & a giant sign that says, "WELCOME TO CHECOTAH, HOME OF CARRIE UNDERWOOD, AMERICAN IDOL 2005." I think Tricia secretly wanted to end up there.

On a side note, I'd like to say that the desert is nice scenery at first, though it does get boring watching for the occasional trailer park cities that randomly appear. However, the best part about driving through NM, TX, OK, Arkansas, etc was by far the awesome road signs. Oh yeah, in Texas, we managed to pass the largest cross in the U.S., which is all lit up at night. I'm fairly certain the electric chair was somewhere in the field behind it, though.

There are always Mexicans.They have Cowboys AND Indians in the South still, too.

Oh look, we must be in Texas.

Crappy picture of the United States of America's biggest shoutout to Jesus.

*BONUS* Another video from NM, with a Ben Folds soundtrack.

Road Trip, Day 3 - The Grand Canyon ROCKS (No pun intended)

Day #3: Wednesday, Nov. 8 - Wednesday was an eventful day. After getting in at 12:30am, we woke up at 5:15am & got on the road by 6am...or at least, that was the plan. We got up, got ready, etc with no problems. Then, as I'm loading the car, these energy drinks with alcohol I had picked up before we left Cali (Rockstar & Sparks, in case you're wondering) decided to EXPLODE ALL OVER ME & THE CAR. Pain in my ass. So I finally clean it up & we go to get gas/coffee at this gas station next to our hotel. As I'm inside trying to secure caffeine for the 2 of us, Tricia's pumping gas. Welllllllll, apparently when she set the hose in her tank so she could clean her windshield or whatever she was doing, it just didn't stop when the tank was filled. Gas overflow! Awesome! She comes in to tell me & I abort the coffee mission cause the cashier gave us free passes to a car wash that was also a part of the gas station. In order to avoid a Zoolander-type incident, we decide it's best to go wash the car. Finally, at 6:45am, we're ready to be on the road.

First stop: Hoover Dam, which is on the border of Nevada & Arizona. Arizona's weird cause they're in PST but refuse to observe DST, except if you're on the Indian Reservation. So from Nov-April, the entire state is an hour behind the rest of it's time zone except for a random part right in the middle of it. Of course, the only real thing I'm wondering about this is how it affects things like television programming. Then again, there was such poverty on the reservation when we passed through it (it was actually very sad & disturbing to see it firsthand) that I doubt they're worrying what time House or Nip/Tuck comes on.

The Hoover Dam at 7:30am

After the Hoover Dam, we went to the Grand Canyon, which is where Tricia & Clayton got engaged. Collective "awwwww" right here, please. The only word I can think of the describe the GC is "awesome." Not even in the "wow, that's awesome" sense of the word that I overuse all the time. "Awesome" as in "fucking amazing." We ate a picnic on some random bench along the path (yum, Triscuits & Easy Cheese) then walked the 2-mile trail along the south rim & then back again. Here's where the videos started. Pictures are at the end, but here's some video of the GC:

Here's part dos, it's all very exciting. My attempt to show everyone the hiking trail. I'm so special sometimes.

The third part of the video can be found at here at YouTube - it's basically the view from further along the rim, with more annoying narration by ME & Tricia bitching about being on camera!

So we left the GC & drove around through the Reservation. Like I said before, it's just a lot of poverty & you can tell. It's really depressing & makes you appreciate living in somewhere like NY. I LOVE the outdoors, but I'm not a country girl the way that Tricia is or a huge fan of livin' somewhere small, quaint & quiet like Katelyn is. Driving through over 1,000 miles of open space & one-stoplight towns with only a bank, Dairy Queen, Sonic, Wal-mart & a shitload of cows reaffirmed to me that it just ain't my thang. It's cool for vacation, but what do you do when you're bored without a movie theatre or bowling alley or coffee shop? Meh, whatev.

Here's where the day gets out-of-control. We thought all the weird shit happening was finished after we left Nevada. WRONG! We get to Flagstaff, the town just outside the GC & stop to pee/get gas/beverages. You can't pay at the pump so Tricia goes inside to give her debit card to the cashier, then goes back outside to pump gas. My mom calls us at this point to tell us that Donald Rumsfield resigned & Hillary Clinton got almost 70% of the popular vote in NY & she said that if she got that #, then she's going to consider running for president, blah blah blah. This is relevant. I call over to Tricia to tell her this (she may hate Hillary more than my dad does & having a husband in the Marines, knowing that the Secretary of Defense just quit is sort of something that's of interest to her). So she's all, "WHAT?!" & runs over to me, we get in the car & I relay the info from dear old mom & we're off. The plan was to get to Gallup, NM (about 30 miles across the border) by 8pm & then just chill, watch some TV (Lost duh), grab a drink.

We get about 50 miles outside of Flagstaff - 51 miles to be exact to Winslow, Arizona, hahaha I totally didn't make the connection to the song til after my dad joked about it - before Tricia realizes that she COMPLETELY FORGOT TO GET HER CARD FROM THE CASHIER. We weren't far enough to just call & cancel it, so we decide to go back for it. Tricia's freaking out at this point. I knew I just had to let her get it out of her system bc she was so frustrated, but I just felt badly that she felt badly. I mean, I didn't care if we made it to our hotel room in time to watch a specific TV show or where we got food. I let her react for about 30 miles before I came up with a plan to get the card, stop to grab something quickly in town then head back to Gallup, no matter how late it got.

We get the card, go to Subway & Tricia's feeling much better. I call my parents to tell them the new plans & as I'm talking to my dad, Tricia passes a cop going 50mph in a 45-zone. This is probably enough to warrant a honk for going too slowly in NY, but not in AZ. Tricia starts to worry that she's going to be pulled over. It's fine for a minute or so til she sees the cop following us & gets really nervous. I'm telling her that it's fine, the only reason he'd get you would be for slamming on your breaks, but it'll be ok. Of course, after another minute of being tailed by Mr. Jr. Deputy Sheriff we get pulled over. I tell Dad I'll call him back.

Now I've been pulled over like 6 times (yeaaahh, I'm not a shitty driver but I'm impatient & I get reckless sometimes bc of that, I'll admit it). So I'm perfectly calm & trying to tell her how to react. Tricia's only been pulled over twice & is NOT so calm. Looking back, we both think the whole day was hysterical, but at the time - not so much. Well, I thought it was hysterical while it was happening, once it became apparently that he wasn't going to give her a ticket, but still. Here's how it went down:

Cop: I'm jr. deputy sheriff so-and-so. Do you know why I pulled you over?
Tricia: Because I was 5 miles over the speed limit?
Cop: Do you know why else? The light over your license plate is out.

(He asks us what we're doing in AZ & we tell him. Then he takes her license & registration, runs it & comes back a good 4 minutes later).

Cop: Now, I speed too, so I'm not going to give you a ticket because that would be hypocritical of me. (I SWEAR TO GOD HE SAID THAT.) However, I'm going to give you a warning - it's more like an order - on the good faith that you're going to get that light fixed as soon as possible. Do you have anything illegal in the car?
Me: NO.
Tricia: No, but I have a shotgun in the bed of the truck. It's registered, but it's not loaded & I don't have any clips for it with me.
Cop: I'm going to have to take a look at the shotgun.
So his partner's out of their SUV police vehicle now & starts talking to us as he & Tricia remove the shotgun & he goes to look up the registration #.
Partner: Why are you so nervous right now?
Tricia: Because I've only been pulled over twice before & it's really scary.
(Colleen suppresses a laugh that would've made the situation a whoooole lot worse.)

I swear that I honestly wasn't being obnoxious about any of this at all. Finally, Mr. Jr. Deputy Sheriff (who was actually very attractive) comes back & we're free to go. We get directions to a place to get a new lightbulb. We go there, find some dumb jocky-looking guy that works there to replace the lightbulb & start the trip to Gallup all over again. I played DJ & blasted lots of fun singalong music (hell yeah I played the 2nd 'N Sync CD AND "Jagged Little Pill," among other great/cheesy CD's). We got to the hotel, a Marriott I think, at around 10:30ish - It was about fucking time. But it was really nice & we got a great breakfast there the next morning. Whew. That was the long, crazy ass day that was Wednesday. Salude if you actually made it this far.

Picnic!

All smiles when there's Easy Cheese.

Le Canyon Grande

It's a long way down, it's a loooong waaaay down

Emo comment of the day:

The pretty things are always the most dangerous.

Ah, the adventures.

Road Trip, Day 2 - The Vegas Edition

Day #2 - Tuesday, Nov. 7: Aight, so we woke up, packed our shit up & decided a tentative plan for the day (leave around noon, meet Anna on her lunch break to say goodbye, go to In-N-Out burger, drive to Vegas). Since I have a serious problem with beach addiction, Tricia dropped me off at the beach for like 45 minutes so I could jog on the beach/go in the water. Can I just say that I hate the hs kids who were playing volleyball outside on the beach for their GYM CLASS?! We did NOT do that in Longwood. But I got to go in the ocean, so life was good.

We left on schedule & stopped to say a quick goodbye to Tricia's sister then proceeded to hit up In-N-Out Burger. You know how I hate fast food & will only really eat Taco Bell or Wendy's every once in a very long while? WELL, if I lived on the west coast, I'd totally, totally be eating In-N-Out every freaking day. Holy shit, they're as good as advertised. They're so good that I think if Brian had one, he'd completely forget about his love affair with Wendy's. I think I'm pissed at Katie for not using that place as an excuse to bribe me to come out sooner. OHHH - GET THIS: On the way to get, we were driving along the highway & came across a sign that said "Watch for" & had a MEXICAN FAMILY RUNNING ACROSS A ROAD on it. I nearly died. I wish I could've taken a picture, but we were going too fast. Mama, Papa & bambito figures runnin' cross the road. I need to find a pic. There we go ^. It's GREAT.

So after my taste of fast food delight, we were off. We made it to Vegas in like 4 or 5 hours. After riding the CRAZY ass roller coaster at the NY, NY hotel (I'm talking upside down, steep drops, the whole 9 yards), I dragged Tricia to the Belagio so I could have an "Ocean's 11 moment" by the fountain (fuck you, I'm a dork). Then we met up with Roy Tahsin, who's the publisher of STARKED NYC (aka my boss). He's only a year older than me, actually sooo he's Tricia's age. Anyway, we went to dinner at the Venetian. Amazing. Inside, the whole thing is made to look like Venice (duh), with moats & gondollas & though it was like 9:30pm, looked like it was daytime inside. We went over to the Wynn, which is supposedly the most expensive hotel on the strip, afterwards for a few drinks. It was sort of tacky inside, actually, but you could tell that it was mad expensive. We found a random balcony with a bar & watched some weird waterfall lights show. It was...strange...but sort of cool. It was something that Sarah would find awesome but Julia would be like, "Um, what the hell?!" (If that makes sense at all?) It was very artsy.

ANYWAY, after that, Roy showed us a nice hotel that was just outside the strip, meaning it was nice but much more in our price range. We checked in at 12:30am then got up at 5:15am to hit the road at 6am. Wednesday was the most ridiculous, Murphy's Law filled day, so more about that lata. The videos started on Wed, so prepare get your eye-rolling practice in.

Pictures:

Greatest. Fast food. Ever.

Yum.Purty CA desert sunset.

New York gal does the NY, NY in Vegas.

Helllooooo Belagio fountain, can you tell me where George Clooney is?

Helloooooo small part of the interior of the Belagio.

The Venetian. That chick steering the gondolla sings. It's super.

Our host: the one & only Roy Tahsin.

Part of the weird light show. I thought those statues in the water were real & couldn't figure out why the people weren't moving. It was a great moment for me.

Road Trip, Day 1 - Tricia is tired of the sunset.

I'm baaaaaaaack. I had SUCH an fantastic time. I'm sorta confused about time zones, since I've been in 4 different ones in the past 7 days. I have a TON of stories, took a shitload of pictures & a whole bunch of 30-40 second videos to document some of our adventures, so I'm gonna split them up into different posts, probably one for each day so it's not longer than a James Cameron movie. The videos are hysterical though, not gonna lie. Ready?! Okay!

Day #1 - Monday, Nov. 6: Got into the San Diego airport in the morning & got the tour. After lunch, we walked around the beach for a while (hooray, I miss the beach), then I got the tour of Oceanside, where Tricia worked. We walked around another beach & watched the sunset (Katelyn & Gar: if either of you are reading this, you'd LOVE the sunsets there & all like 29,385 pics I took). While we were waiting for sunset, Tricia started singing the Augstana song "Boston," mainly bc she couldn't wait to "get out of California, so tired of the weather..." It became one of 'those songs' we played the entire trip whenever our energy level got low & we needed to be pumped up.

I think I need a sunrise

I'm tired of the sunset

Here it's nice in the summer

Some snow would be nice

After dark, we went to Camp Pembleton (the military base) & went grocery shopping, stocking up on necessities like pretzels/Sun chips, Pop Tarts, Kudos, Swedish Fish, etc. Then we went back to Anna & Ryan's (Tricia's older sister & her bf) house in Carlsbad, where we ate dinner with a bunch of their friends & drank a little to celebrate Tricia's last night. We played some crazy game of dominos called Mexican Train, which I'm sad that I didn't discover years ago. I have a feeling that this would've been something that Sarah, Amanda, Sara, Julia & I would've been obsessed with at school, lol. SUCH a dorky game, but it gets SO competitive that it's out of control how intense/fun it is.

Just to help save Tricia some time, let me try to explain: It's not that she hates it, she's just tired of living alone & getting anxious waiting for Clayton to finish up his last 6 months stationed in Japan with the Marines. It's hard celebrating your 3rd wedding anniversary by yourself at age 23 with your husband in a time zone 15 hours ahead of you. Plus, it saves them $ if she moves back home, esp. since they're planning on moving to Virginia when Clayton gets out so they can both finish school. That saved $, plus the money they get from the GI bill will help a lot. Plus, VA is cheap & they may even be able to buy a house - how crazy is that?

As for me, I loved the little bit of SoCal I saw. I don't think that I'd be able to live there forever because I'm a New York gal at heart, but I could definitely do it up Cali-style for a little while. I didn't even get to see LA - Tricia thinks I'll love it, that's totally my next trip if anyone wants to go...

Ok, here are some pictures from Monday:

California, I have arrived.

Tricia cannot wait for a snowy sunrise.

A Sunset: The One Thing Colleen Is Not Jaded By (At least, yet)

I do love me some sunsets.

Another pic of the SAME SUNSET! Like, O-M-G!

Almost over. But it's my blog & I want to put 'em up. There's actually like 248,382 more.

The suuuuun has gone to bed and so must Iiiiiiii...